How do i not let things get to me :(

[BellyBelly]

(Sorry had to do school run ) Here's the link: De Mello - A Collection of His Work

Said with much love Jols, because you know I do love you hun, and since we're in the personal growth and development forums ... if/when we're stuck in a victim headset, it can be the most disempowering we can be in our lives. All the stuff I have learnt is that we are very much in control of our experience and emotions - and feelings are what we create from our thoughts. Thoughts become feelings, feelings become beliefs. Which is how in a bad mindset, we can become depressed, miserable, unhappy etc. So how do you change that? Most of us don't learn this as children as our parents often are in the same space - if they knew they would have taught us. Learning from great teachers like de mello will get you there, and then you can in turn teach your children too.

It takes time, some arguing in your head about it, some realisation that it is in fact true in some/most cases, then taking it on, getting thrown by some situations and questioning it again, then really getting the hang of it. Took me a good year or two to make it my mindset, but it is a work in progress all your life. And it also takes surrounding yourself with people who are the same, because just like I read in an article today: "Since you catch the emotions of the people around you like you catch their colds, you are continually being affected by their vibes." I am lucky to have a great spiritual group of friends - we are not perfect - but we push each other to grow and stretch boundaries. Its amazing

ETA: Mindfulness is awesome too. Helped me out of my own anxiety, but I needed more, its all part of the toolbox. The more tools you have, the more complex jobs you can fix I also agree with Cranky Kitten, others reacting to you is their own stuff. Which is why Byron Katie says defence is the first act of war - because if you take someone's comments on and react, its all on! But if you can see it as their experience/issues and not take it on, you can prevent a huge situation from even occurring.