Have to say I used to care so much about every little thing that people did or said...and even the stuff they didn't say or do, if that makes sense
Having my gorgeous little one, after being left by the other half was an extaordinarily character building exercise. I learnt that a lot of disapproval or judgement is more reflective of the other person than it is of my behaviour, and that aggression is just fear disguised (badly). I'm not overly religious, rather spiritual and love a lot of concepts in Buddhism. Be mindful of how you act and treat others, it will always keep you in good stead, and don't dwell on negative emotions, as at the end of the day, they are fairly useless and non-productive. Always have faith in your own beliefs, instincts and judgement they are there to look after you
My DH tends to be thin skinned and I am thick skinned. the differences in our thinking is that he always sees things as being directed at him and I see things as being about the other person and them having an issue with something rather than it being about me. I try to tell him that things are not always about him and that someone might be shy, angry or just having a bad day.
I am thin skinned too but learning to not take things so personally
I think part of it for me is trying to understand someone else's intention. There are not a lot of people in the world that are out to hurt others. I think most people are trying to be helpful and it just comes across the wrong way. I try not to take people just on their words but what they intend to say.
But then, I have also decided that people who intentionally say things to be mean or upsetting don't have my respect anyway and if I don't respect them, why should I care for their opinion. On the flip side of that, some people are offensive because they are hurting and upset. Being able to see through the hurt and anger can be really useful too because for people who you do care about that are offensive, that is their way of reaching out and screaming for help. It can be hard not to let their words sting, but if you can see what they are really getting at and that it is not personal, it does help. It doesn't make it okay, but it means that you don't have to take it personally.
Having said that, words do hurt but positive head talk and rationally thinking about whether it matters and why it matters can go a long way to helping things not hurt so badly.
It is still something I am working through and I am by no means great at it. Things still hurt me, and even things that I know I shouldn't let hurt me. But I am getting there but I do think it is something I will have to be conscious of for the rest of my life and make an effort with
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