Perhaps an honest word, that you want to be there and support him. See if he's open to opening his mind....
This is the saddest thing Kel...he is so open minded and very spiritual, in the past he has disappeared off to yoga retreats for months on end and used to meditate every day. But the pain seems to have stript all that away. He's been so positive for years and just doesn't have it any more...well I think he does, he just needs to find it again.

So Tony Robbins has a tumor?? I love the idea of comedies, i'll grab some on the way up on Weds and see if that cheers him up. At least I know thats one thing I can do...make him laugh (sometime with me, more often at me lol).

TMS - I guess it's a bit of both wrt to contact, I mean we are in a relationship so we talk almost every day. When he goes a couple of days with no contact I know he's in a bad place and I try and get up there quick smart. This is the thing, he says there is nothing I can do to help but he wants me there, it's really sad...he gets the days confused and then texts saying "where are you" and I have to tell him it's Mon not Weds I know at the very least I can go up there and clean the house and cook him something decent...or if he's up to it he cooks, he's awesome and i'm well, crap!

Onyx, it is a tough balance isn't it, and I know i'm going to make mistakes. It's just so hard, sometimes when he cries and I go and hug him he squeezes me so hard, and other times he pushes away. I suppose I just have to be consistant and not take it personally when he does push away. Thank you for putting that about posting...I do worry that people will think "not that again" but BB is helping me so much, it's keeping me sane when all of my family are finding it so hard to understand.

HotI - yano you just made me think about some stuff, thank you. Hes flat broke and i'm not doing amazingly but I think it's important to find some things that don't cost much, or anything at all. Stupid question, but does the sun rise or set over the ocean in SEQ?

emc2 - i've joined up on that website, i think getting tips from people that are going through the same thing would be a great resource as well x