How do you let go of the hope that always leads to disappointment?

[Inanna]

I haven't read the other posts - sorry I usually do but I am trying to pay some bills but I couldn't not reply to you sweet cheeks.

The Buddhist perspective is somthing I can help you with...

I am pretty sure you know it inside you, but I am like this too I often need to hear it again from someone else - perhaps in different words.

Your parents are what they are. They are doing what they do. Your disappointment and pain is coming only from what you project onto them as a "should". (for others reading this from a Buddhist perspective I am not being heartless to Leash - I am telling her what IS).

Your parents "should" phone you, be interested in you. When they don't do what you believe shows love you feel hurt, lost and let down. We all get that. From the perspective of self responsibility you need to focus on the pearl that they are handing you. Letting go of the egoic need to be loved by them is the fight of every human from me to the Dalai Lama and all in between. Building your integrity, love for humanity and your detatchment for the need for outside recognition is the hardest road on the path (IMO - at least for me it's a struggle).

Also accepting the karmic lesson in this - this is your contract with them. What could that mean? Perhaps for you to learn this and be different for Jazz. To model this difference to others etc etc.

I understand so well where you are. I am a motherless mother (& basically a fatherless one also!). I have struggled, shouted, slapped my head, laid my heart on a pillow and all else in between. It is painful. However, what is happening IS. Don't fight the reality. Let go of the expectation.

This does NOT mean accepting what is not okay for you - the is an error that many make - that following Buddhist philosophy means being a door mat. Far from it.

Be aware of the emotions that come up and talk to them. Name them. "I am feeling anger arising in me". "I am feeling abandonment & feelings of loss arising in me". "I am feeling disappointment arising in me"... Name them, know them, face them and say: Mmmm that's what you look like. I'll sit with you whilst I feel you but then I will let you pass"...

Have a relationship with your emotions & then they won't own you. Your pain is caused by how you see your treatment as injust. You will choose to be a different parent. But send your parents love. Send them understanding. Know that you chose them and they you - this is part of your contract.

I am sorry you are feeling this pain - it hurts and its horrible. I hope you can find yourself a way out of this so that your heart feels better.

"If the heart is in accord with what is, all single strivings have ceased, all doubts are cleared up, true faith is confirmed: nothing remains, nothing need be remembered. Empty, clear, self-illuminating, the heartdoes not waste its energy." Sosan.