It's OK to admire traits in people even when they're not perfect: idolising the person isn't so good. I like lots of things about some people but wouldn't want to buy into the whole package, IYSWIM.

As for the deal-breakers. I do find myself slowly distancing myself from some people because I don't like what they're doing. The people who gossip secrets. The mothers who do CIO on a tiny baby (well under 3m) and tell me all my problems stem from not doing the same. The people who defraud the system. The people who dislike others due to age or size (so bad at mothers' groups, I've found). I still see them, but not so much and it's in a group. And I'm polite, but not gushing.

Don't compromise your deal breakers, but I know that I exhibit less-than-desirable behaviour when I'm upset, so there could be a reason behind it. But don't let them off forever.