I've heard this explained many ways over the years... and read about it in several books i have. I refer to it as "projection". When somebody speaks to me in a way that is critical I try to take on board what they are telling me... until they get nasty/emotive. Then from my experience that is symptomatic of projection or the mirroring affect. That's when it becomes more about how much they are critical of themselves. If you can avoid retaliating and just calmly say that you will continue the conversation when they stop trying to derail the whole issue that often works. Great threat Kelly.