Yes, it's interesting that you mentioned Audax that you expected to get better at it as you got older. I think this happens to lots of us... we just expect maturity attributes to be "bestowed" upon us as we age. So often it just doesn't happen that way. Unless we have maturing awareness little else will develop.

Fiona: I could have written similar! Somedays I beg the universe to send me a mentor of some kind... to kind of raise my awareness and therefore ability to help myself and my loved ones better.

I packed away my copy of "Families..." yesterday and remembered this thread... I also found a good description of the book in Wikipedia:

Families and How to Survive Them is generally acknowledged as being one of the best books for the lay person on family relationships and the social development of children. It was and remains a huge success, and is viewed as being both educational and amusing, as well as making a significant contribution towards the demystifying of psychological illness. The British Journal of Psychiatry described it as being "of paramount importance". People who read the book often speak of it as being "a complete eye opener" and of a desire to rush out and buy a dozen copies for their friends. Many people who have read it have identified it as being indispensable in giving insights into their own lives, and providing a better understanding about how to bring up happy and well balanced children.