A life changing event... In a negative way.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

it's hard to continually give of yourself all of the time. Even without having met you i have no doubt that you are a wonderful woman/mother/friend and all the other hats you wear

From my own personal experience there always come a time where self preservation kicks in and you (generic) realise that you can't be everything to everyone. eventually, that auto pilot you've been running on switches off and all those emotions that have been simmering under the surface, boil over and you "crash", so to speak. you realise that you've lost sight of who *you* are and what you need because you've been so engrossed being there for everyone else

[diva det]

Hey there rogue
well where do it start?
if can give you some perspective if that helps
I went through some pretty life changing events 12 years and 10 years ago including our best friends child and nephew being killed in a tragic accident, and nearly losing our twins at their birth.
These events changed me as a person and how i parent totally!!
I spent the few few years just remembering to breath and survive, but also paranoid. Scared that everytime a loved one went out, that they wouldnt come home. I was so anxious and wouldnt leave my babies with anyone for fear something would happen to the whilst i wasnt there. It took me until they were 3 years old before i left them with anyone for even a couple of hours. This was a detriment to me as then I didnt get any me time and lost track of who I was as a woman and a wife. Took me along time to let go of my fears and come to terms with the fact that I cannot control so many things in life and I can either fear life, or embrace and learns what it throws at me.

10 years later I took away these things from these tregedy's
-that life is precious and never take for granted that people will always be there
-that loving someone doesnt dimish when they are physically not here anymore - its ok to still celebrate their birthdays, other milestones and to include them in your family events- if that is what you want to do
-whenever i am told that my son cant do this or has this deficit, I dont fall apart but instead still rejoyce in that fact that he survived and is here to prove them wrong !! I dont sweat on what he cant do but make the most or modify my expectation on what he CAN do
-put in perspective what is important and what isnt- life changing events for me made me let go of the small stuff alot easier
- life does not contain a never ending supply of energy. You can either chose to use your energy being angry, plotting revenge etc, or use the energy to enjoy life. Easier to let go of hurtful things if you know its only a waste of energy to do so
- some people just are not capable of more- so dont expect it , be surprise if it occurs
- its ok to withdraw, its ok to sit all day on the couch- give yourself permission to do this if you want to- its your Choice - but remember that there has to be a balance
- stand by your choices and your beliefs-your gut instinct is always right so never doubt it and never live with regret

Hindsight is a wonderful thing- its early days still lovely. Be kind and know that you be change as a person, but how you change and what you change is up to you !!!
Strenght will come with time!!!
hugs