Now I have a bit more time, I shall clarify the above.

This started out as a commentary on bullying from a victims point of view. Even today as a grown adult I have been a victim to bullying. Be it actual verbal slurs or just exclusion, gossipy rumour spreading and other forms of mental/emotional bullying. I guess in a way this was more for an adult audience as I have started to feel that these days, children lack the empathy to understand the emotional scars they inflict upon each other. I thought I could make a difference.... but halfway through it i had this realisation.

Why would I want to be friends with these people? How could i possibly want to seek approval from people who actually take pleasure in causing emotional harm to others? Why the hell, at 31, was I still trying to?

I am not perfect. I have faults. I know what they are and everyday I work on changing them. We don't even have to agree. In fact its good that we don't. I love to learn from others and why they have come to a different conclusion than me. For all I know this engrossing need to understand others could well stem from a history of emotional abuse and a desperate desire to fit in. That if I could understand you, I would agree with you and then be more like you, and you would like me, iykwim.

I realised that I am still very much what other people have made me, rather than just me. If I want to be me, I have to start letting go of this, and start accepting that it is okay to be me, and think like me without needing to try and make someone convince me that I should be thinking differently because they do.

Good luck to me.