Is it possible that it is more of an issue now cause you are deep down worried about the role reversal coming up? I know when my life is about to change (before I got married, before I had each child, before we bought a house), so many things that I had just accepted and carried on with came to the forfront of my mind and really stress me to the point of snapping and having meltdowns.

I also think Shel will start realising how important that time for you really is when she is the SAHM. Whether it be for study, or an hour to soak in the bath in peace. I have been leaving DH with both kids every now and then, just so he understands. I am normally only gone for a max of 2 hours, but enough that he realises I might appreciate some help if they are whining or crying. IT is amazing how being placed in your shoes for just a few hours will make someone see things differently.

Hope you can work out a way to overcome it and talk to her..