Keep persevering. There are always things that you would do differently at home, but as long as they are not major philosophical differences, they are not necessarily deal breakers.

Plastic toys are easy to clean, and a lack of things to do might mean that she organises activities more often....DS's second Carer (that he attended only a short time as DS didn't 'fit') had sooooo many toys, but no organised activities beyond drawing and painting. His first and favourite Carer had at least one activity a day organised, from treasure hunts, play dough, painting, glueing, sticking and other craft to water and sand play. Everything was packed up neatly afterwards, so if I didn't see the regular photos and craft stuff or hear about it from DS and his Carer, I'd never have known. It's actually a great thing that a Carer does things a little differently to how you would. Think of all the new and different experiences your daughter will have

Go slowly, start with a few play dates that you attend, then a few shorter sessions and build from there. Ask if other parents who attend that Carer are willing to give out their phone number so you can talk with them about their experience.

As for your feelings, they will lessen over time. When you find the right carer, seeing your DD happy will help. It's natural to feel guilty that you're not the one looking after your child full time. I felt awful about leaving DS the first time, but pretty soon realised he didn't feel the same about leaving me....that dented my motherly ego but also helped ease the guilt.