i learnt the hard way, that being used like a doormat, is a dealbreaker for me. I love to help others, but have been taken advantage of, so now, i'm more wary. Ditto with lending money.

I agree with many of the above posters, friends don't need to be my carbon copy, but they do need to show me some tolerance, when we do things differently - respect each other's differences.

Dealbreakers for me are around what is lawful, and also the "isms". i have my own limitations e.g cigarette smoke sets off allergies, so i don't have any friends who smoke. I cannot be friends with people who are violent (to themselves, their kids, or others).