I am a bit of a perfectionist with work. If i can't do it right/well/properly I tend to want to give up. Close enough ain't good enough and I exhaust myself trying.
I am a performing arts teacher in a Primary school. I am super lucky that my Prin has given me autonomy over my program - which is ace seeing as I have no formal music background.
I just find that I spend SO many hours on preparation, professional reading, $$ on texts for myself - only to have uninspired kids who just spend 45 mins looking bored. I wonder if it's worth the time and $$ away from my own kids.... I am also at the point where I wonder if I should go back to classroom teaching next year but then I would have reports and more cr@p to deal with than now.
I LOVE music ed, I think it is so important but maybe I should leave it to the experts!
I am babbling now, but as a point in case - we recently had our whole school production - Alice in Wonderland - 240 kids, I work 2 days a week but did 4 days a week for 6 weeks leading up to get in rehearsals etc. Worked out perfectly - lots of parents came up to me and said - "Perfectionist much? but it was wonderful".
Now I am back to teaching "normal" classes maybe I am feeling like it's boring and so are the kids? We have a few performances we are working towards but I dunno.
Not even sure what my question is - just feel like I needed to get it out and pick some brains!
It sounds like you and the kids have performance come down. It's very common after a production to feel depleted and bored...all that adrenaline is addictive.
Maybe you should have a mini performance for assembly or some small project to work on.
Performing arts is always peaks and troughs. I wouldn't change yourself, rather relax your standards and enjoy this natural change of pace...
My cousin is a performing arts teacher, but in high school....and she's a perfectionist too
Could it be that you don't fit the particular school you're at? Are there schools more musical orientated where the kids would be absorbed? Maybe a change of scenery instead of going back into the classroom.
I dont think you need ot change anything about yourself!
I understand what you mean though about unmotivated kids.. i taught drama to young kids for a few years, this was even an after school thing that the kids were chosing to do, and they would still be unmotivated!! It's hard, but i think you are the perfect person to help MOTIVATE them!! Its tough though when you do all the backround stuff and then find that ok today, thats not going to work with the kids. But dont feel deflated, its all good research, infomation and sources for you to have another day when it might work!!
Also i definately agree that there is a "come down" after a performance. Alot of work and energy goes into putting on a great show, so maybe you and your students need a bit of fun stuff to do to unwind!
Hun I wish you had been my Performing Arts teacher when I was at school!!! I loved loved loved it!! But our school wasn't supportive towards it, sport orientated!! I think you sound awesome and its really lovely to hear someone be so passionate about kids education oxoxox Sorry didn't give any advice - oops!!
Thanks ya'll! I guess what I want to change is the fact that when I feel like this, I feel like throwing in the towel and doing something else. Not quitting per se but changing direction! I have done it quite a few times over the years - maybe I need more persistence through the tough times or something.
The anti-climax post production is a good point - maybe we are all feeling it. We do have a performance coming up in a few weeks time but again some of the kids are just not that interested. (little so and so's ) Anyway I will pull my finger out and get on with it and things will be fine once spring hits and I don't have these damn winter seasonal blues!
That you spend more time, energy, money etc. than you feel that you should?
That the kids don't appreciate your efforts?
That the level of effort and energy you put in leaves you depleted in some way?
That you find the remainder of your work is relatively uninspiring to you?
Wondering how to change this part of myself.....
I wonder if it's worth the time and $$ away from my own kids.... I am also at the point where I wonder if I should go back to classroom teaching next year but then I would have reports and more cr@p to deal with than now.
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) Anyway I will pull my finger out and get on with it and things will be fine once spring hits and I don't have these damn winter seasonal blues! 
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