Oh for sure Intertia! I'm the same... I was much faster to judge when I was younger, pre-kids. I'm trying to help my 14yo DD avoid the keyhole thing by getting her to think about the bigger picture more often. I think she's starting to get the hang of it. It takes practice. I'm still far from perfect. It's a shame my own parents weren't able to help me when I was younger. It's interesting how the people who dislike being judged the most are the ones that are quickest to judge others too. It's like they feel so persecuted that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to make others feel judged vicious cycle.
Last edited by Bathsheba; July 27th, 2009 at 05:50 PM.
I really like that analogy! Since becoming a mum I have definitely stopped being so judgemental of people's parenting and become more wary of other people's narratives. As the keyhold story suggests, you just never know what that person has gone through to reach their current standpoint. I think more empathy would help more people heal their own wounds, because once you stop judging others, you start being kinder to yourself.
I dunno. I'm more judgemental about some things. People telling me control crying doesn't hurt, they've done it. I pretty much judge they love their children less than I do. Because now I have a child I'm even more against it than when I just knew the theory.
But most other things - if you're not lying, stealing, killing (and telling me about it) then it's pretty much horses for courses and generally has been. (OK, it has usually been I know I'm right, but you need to find that out in your own time.)
vicious cycle.
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