Hi Ros,

I kinda know how you feel, unlike you, I have undiagnosed extraordinary bleeding and I dont ovulate. Why? We will never know. I have been attempting to get to the source of this for 15 years.

We got to the point of ttc - where tests from my gynie kept coming back as Normal - so I tried the Clomid and unfortunatly for us, I am one of the few that react to it. I was sick for 10 days.
So our GP suggested that we investigate further into why by seeing one of the heads of Repromed here in SA (IVF clinic). We figured that after 3 years something should have been found and if anyone is going to find out why - it should be him. Any way - he looked at our test results, and did a scan and of course said that everything except for the lenght of my cycle was normal (I have a 20 day cycle - standard), but he couldnt see anything as to what should be triggering that to be that way. When he asked how I went with the Clomid - he went very quiet after I told him what happened. He explained that he would refer us to himself at the clinic, but he wouldnt say that we would be "suitable", because of my reaction - I obviously dont Ovualte and the reaction was to the change in my level of hormones and thru the IVF proceedure - it would be 10 times worse. And that I am one of the few women who will never naturally concieve a child - or that any process in conception would be difficult.
I was mortified. I couldnt believe that he could say that - afterall I had given up my dream of concieving, let alone naturally! I was quite willing to go thru the stress of it all just to have my own child.
Thats when I had the very same thought as you. We did so much soul searching, honestly. Why us? etc.
But what we did do - is decided to not forget to live life and accept that if we are meant to have our own family - it will happen, just, when it is 'destined' to happen, rather than us 'pushing each and every button a gazillion times or until it breaks (or our fingers do)'.
About 3 weeks after our appointment - we got our "Welcome Book" from Repromed. The next day I noticed that I also didnt like the smell of cigarettes - I also tested positive for being pregnant.
I wonder to this day - that with our change of attitude toward TTC and babies - that we invited changed into our lives, that those little things helped us over come our physical state.
I must admit that I was reluctant to do IVF, I dont like the idea of meddling with my body - but I was desperately clutching at straws - I told a gf's younger sister not to abort her baby as we would adopt it!! Unfortunately she miscarried a month later.

But I still wonder, that is it mind over matter that helps us thru our lives?
Why is it that I got that one chance? (foot note: We were hoping for Number 2, that by getting one I may have some form of normal - but due to my 'system' going bererk - worse than whist ttc - I have had to put an end to my baby making efforts.)

Funny thing is - we couldnt be happier... so dont ever think that it wont happen - cause it can.


I can only wish you luck on your journey of ttc.... May you have all the Baby Dust you need!