Oh Emmykate

My third child (DS2) was on phenobarb for a bit too, it does make them sleepy & is very likely why she's not feeding overnight.
I know very well how hard it is to feed a baby that won't feed & TBH I have given up trying. If she clamps her mouth , then I know that's it for now - but one thing that can work sometimes is trying again half an hour later or so. I do this through the day & then let her do her own thing at night.
I think in your case with Lucy on phenobarb, the extra feeds probably aren't going to happen overnight - I would perhaps save my energy & concentrate on feeding as much as possible through the day. Don't worry about the timing, just offer the bottle whenever you can.
It's great that she's taking another feed through the day. Have you had her weighed recently?
As for your mother...hmmm. The only thing I can suggest is that there are some very good, informative articles here on BB that you could try showing her. Apart from that , no advice just hugs, I guess she is coming from a place of love & concern but boy they miss the mark sometimes don't they you need to deal with it however works best for you.
And the freezer door left open...I would have cried! You are doing so well to be coping with it all

AFM...Arlea is still very short of her quotas but her most recent weigh was much better than her last
I am feeling a bit fed up with expressing lately it will pass I guess. I had got to a place where I was quite happy & comfortable doing it but the last week or so I am feeling very time poor & resentful of all the time I spend pumping - especially at night when she goes down to sleep & I wait until it is time to express, then wash up & give her a dream feed, then I get to go to bed...
ahhh well. I keep telling myself it's not forever... it's a few months out of the rest of my life...I can do it everything else is going really well & she is so healthy & happy, it's all worth it really.

hope everyone else is good?