6 month old with unlit cigarette on FB: irresponsible or no big deal?

[beckoes]

I dont think its the right thing to do...we were out at the beach the other day when DD bent down and dug something out of the sand...i was horrified when she handed me a ciggarette butt. I washed her hands right away and thought ' thank goodness she didnt put it in her mouth''
With out getting too personal about the mother herself, it seems clear that she thinks this is an acceptable thing to do, which i think speaks volumes about her own up bringing, her lifestyle choices and the things she will project as normal for her child as he grows up.

I have seen mothers like this myself. I worked in a pub about 7 years ago before i came to OZ (from the UK) and i witnessed a mother give her child, who was about 2 years old a 1/3 full bottle of 'reef' drink (an orange vodka alcopop) I thought she must not know its alcoholic and rushed over as the toddler was drinking the alcohol from a staw...i told her it was alcoholic and she told me to F off!! she knew that and it was his treat for being good while she was at the pub...only a few mouthfulls...never does him any harm. I couldnt belive any mother would find this an acceptable thing to do. She was asked to leave. I often think of that little boy and wonder what has become of him i alway thought, what chance does he stand when thats the world he thinks is normal!!

[Bathsheba]

It's true Beck... the mother has obviously been raised in a way that this this kind of humour has great currency amongst her cirlce of friends and family. By posting the photo she is basically saying "hey, you'll appreciate this". She might actually be confused and disoriented when she doesn't get the reaction she was expecting. I then predict she will get defensive and angry because she will be unsettled/afraid that something she thought has currency doesn't. The best chance this mother has is if a person she is close to kindly points out that she should remove the photo and consider avoiding exposing her child to the harmful chemicals like arsenic that would have been in her child's mouth. It's a fundamental lack of education and a currency of risk taking within her village that is this amatuer psychologists belief about what has gone wrong here.

[Kazbah]

I don't think that it comes down to "responsible" or "irresponsible". 20 years ago, it wouldn't have batted an eyelid at this behaviour. Given the trend to adult-ise our children, this really isn't all that abnormal. Think of all those artworks of kids dressed up as bankers, stockbrokers & the likes, holding cigars, mobile phones and guns. None of these are widely reported negatively ...

But what I do find worrying is that I can't understand her reply Why Would SomeOne Do That To Me U Ollie No was taking U Yur Mine for lyfee Darlinggg Mummy Loves You . Sure, following on from Bathsheba's post, someone in her circle of friends has taken offense and we'll never know what exactly transpired - was she approached directly? was this the straw that broke the camel's back (pardon the pun).

Education, not ridicule is the best approach, and perhaps playing this out in the (inter)national media isn't the best solution.

[monday]

It's a fundamental lack of education and a currency of risk taking within her village that is this amatuer psychologists belief about what has gone wrong here.

I'm sorry, a little off topic but I have to question the use of "amateur psychologist" here. Are you qualified to call yourself that? In Australia if you have completed a four year psychology degree but (a) do not have experience or (b) are not registered as a psychologist, you are called an amateur psychologist. I take offence to people claiming to be amateur psychologists when they are not. If you are qualified then my apologies, but it really does grate on me as someone who is qualified to use the term properly.

Sorry, off my little soap box now.

And back on topic, I agree with everyone else. I don't understand how this is funny in any way. I wonder what will happen to the mother now?

[Bathsheba]

I'm sorry, a little off topic but I have to question the use of "amateur psychologist" here. Are you qualified to call yourself that? In Australia if you have completed a four year psychology degree but (a) do not have experience or (b) are not registered as a psychologist, you are called an amateur psychologist. I take offence to people claiming to be amateur psychologists when they are not. If you are qualified then my apologies, but it really does grate on me as someone who is qualified to use the term properly.

Sorry, off my little soap box now.

And back on topic, I agree with everyone else. I don't understand how this is funny in any way. I wonder what will happen to the mother now?

Monday: I've Googled the definition of amateur psychologist and so far there seems to be a unanimous description as this being a non-professional and unpaid person who gives personal opinions regarding issues of a psychological and inter personal nature. But I don't want to be pedantic about it an alternative term could be "armchair psychologist". Maybe you don't like people using the term "psychologist" at all unless they have a formal qualification? I guess I believe that anyone can be an amateur at anything. I have a degree in fine art but it doesn't mean I get annoyed at anyone who picks up a crayon calling themself an artist LOL