Maybe, but I'm pretty sure he will at some stage. Then he can do the whole 'I tried to find you' spiel again, trying to convice us that its all MIL's fault. (Who lived in the same house for 10 years & he actually visited her in that house - once, so he knew where they were she's only moved once since!)
DH's sister knows that the kids don't know & understands. Maybe if she & the girlfriend come too I'll survive?
Maybe you could just get your DH to meet with him for a while at first and try to find out exactly how long he'll stick around or whether he actually wants to be a real part of your lives and not just some token effort to make himself feel important because it is going to be really hard to get the kids to understand the dynamics and then have to deal with him just disappearing again, which is probably a dead certainty from the sound of it.
Just tell him you're not comfortable adopting names like dad and poppy yet - his first name will do for now. It takes time for bonds to grow.
I have a wonderful stepmum and I refer to her as my stepmum but I *still* call her by her first name..."mum" just doesn't feel right. This is 25 years in and i love her to bits and it doesn't change the way I feel about her at all. Just do what seems right to YOU, there aren't any 'rules' that apply in situations like this.
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she's only moved once since!)
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