Just wondering what people would perceive as the 'ideal gap' between kids?
If you've had kids then did you manage to have a gap close to what you were after? Was it a good thing or a bad thing?
We're TTC #2 and before having any kids DH and I wanted a close gap between them however with me BF I didn't get AF until DS was nearly 1 (lucky, I know!!) and then we planned an OS holiday so I put the breaks on TTC. Now we've been trying for a few months and wondering what gap we will end up with assuming I fall pregnant at some point, fingers crossed If I fell pregnant now, there would be 2.5 years or there abouts.
At the moment I am kinda wishing I was already UTD cause DS has just started to venture into tantrum stage and it's got me wondering how will I cope with 2 crazy kids!!
I'm in the same boat as you- wanted a close age gap.
My DD is 21 months and I'm not UTD after 10 months of trying.
I think all age gaps have ups and downs.
I don't think there is any perfect age gap. You make a decision on what works for you on when to TTC and that happens on it's own quickly or slowly or you may need help and these factors really define your age gap. You then have another bubs and regardless it is what it is so you cope, get by (depending if its hard) or you may really love it. We all only know how our age gaps work for us, IYKWIM.
DS1 was very full on and didn't sleep well so I didn't really want to have another bubs for so long, once he got to tantrums at around 17months the thought of another child was sickening LOL. He was also sick so much in his second year. So we waited and once this settled we tried and had DS2 just a couple months before DS1 turned 3. It was great as one was toilet trained, in a bed, great routine, could play on his own and was not at all interested in the baby.
At age almost 2 and almost 5 the gap is a bit much as they don't play so well together and DS1 would have much more fun playing if only poor DS2 could understand him. Kindy and soon to be school drop off's and pick up's are a pain most days. But oh well, DS2 is at that horrid difficult stage - we will just ride through it
There's definitely no ideal, it has to suit you as a family.
I have a three year (and one day!) age gap between my first two (both boys). The pros were that we got to enjoy DS1 for a long time before his brother came along and he was TT'd. The cons (for us, not everyone is the same!) were that DS1 found it hard to adjust to not being an only child after being one for three years - he acted out which was really hard to deal with. They are now almost 4 and 7 and play pretty well together (they have their moments!), but DS2 and DD are 22 months apart in age and are great little friends. They play together really well. When DD came along, DS2 was still young and didn't struggle like his big brother did when he came along.
Again, every family is different and it will come down to individual personalities. We had a three year gap the first time because I just wasn't ready to have another one yet. The smaller age gap was because I wanted to hurry up and get the baby stuff out of the way haha!
Gosh I've been thinking the exact same thing lately! We wanted our bubs close (18-24mths) apart but things have happened and now I have no idea when we will ttc#2 I told dh last night that I didn't want any more than 3 years between them for a whole bunch of reasons. Will be interested to read what others think.
There is about 26 months between the girls and the age gap will be similar to with DD2 and sprout.
there is definately no ideal age gap, as others have said. I know that growing up, I never wanted a 3yr gap between kids because thats what is between my brother and I and we never got on. But thats more to do with personality than anything else.
My boys are 18 months and 4 days apart. It's had good points and bad points I don't think there is a right or wrong gap it's 1 what you feel you want and 2 what nature deals you!
We were TTC for 12 months for DS1 and with DS2 I got AF back at 6 months and we decided to start trying but without stressing at 8 months and 9 months were preg!
I have 12 months between my first two, 15 months between my second and third and 16 months between my third and fourth.
I love having them close for a whole variety of reasons but there are also things that are difficult about a really close age gap. I think it suits us to have them close, but as others have said, every family is different and different things suit different families. Honestly, I can't really comment on a larger age gap because I have never had one. In a way, I wish that I had DS2 with a bigger gap (he is my fourth) but it seems unfair if the others are all so close to have one baby that is much younger. DH grew up being 9 and 6 years younger than his older siblings and says that it was really hard. He didn't want to do it to our fourth baby. I think I would have felt inclined to have a fifth if I could in that situation. But DH's situation growing up was probably more of a reflection of his parents than the actual gap. They didn't bridge it very well.
I think any age gap can work really well and they would all have their positives and their difficulties.
There is 12 months between my girls and TBH it was complete hell for the first 18 months, although a lot of that is to do with issues with DD2. I think it would still have been really hard if she had been "normal". On top of that being pregnant while still having a real baby to look after was very difficult. The up side is that they really are inseparable now. Hopefully that will last.
There will be 4 and 5 years difference between the girls and their new brother or sister. I do worry that this little one might not be as included with the girls, but we'll have to wait and see.
There is a 17 mth age gap between dd1 and ds1
4 yrs between ds1 and ds2
22mths between ds2 and ds3
5yrs between ds3 and dd2
11 mths between dd2 and dd3
13mths between dd3 and ds4
So I have a variety of age gaps, the one that I found the best for me is the 17 mth gap, I found they adapted really well and I didn't find it too hard, they are still close now at 16 and 15. The 22mth gap was also good.
My last three are a little to close (24mths between the three) and can be a lot of work but I do think they will be close as they grow up.
If you can read this then it means I finally got a go on my iPad :-)
We wanted a 2 year age gap.... at the moment there will be a minimum of 3.5 years between DD1 and her sibling. I am hoping it is not as bad as I imagined. There was 13 months between my sister and i and we fought like cats and dogs.
We started trying for another when both our babies were 6months old. I had always wanted a small age gap. Sadly things don't always go to plan.
There is 2y10months between DD and DS, and if this one arrives on it's EDD, there will be exactly 3yrs between DS and bub#3.
I couldn't have asked for a better age gap for me. DD was TTed and sleeping through the night finally just before DS was born. She took to him like a duck to water. She loved him for the get-go and we seriously never had a single issue with her moving over for a sibling. They are as good (and bad lol) together as I could have hoped.
I'm fairly certain DS will be the same. He is (hooray!!) TTed, and is starting to sleep longer at night. I don't think he could have coped with having to 'share' before now.
Fairly similar to Kim. 2 years and 10 months between my girls. Did not plan it that way, was hopping for a bit closer, but in reality it has worked well for us. It took me 12 months to get over the birth and early weeks, that I really needed a bigger gap to get into parenting and spend decent parenting time with DD1
Have pretty much the same positives as Kim. DD1 was toilet trained, we had moved her to her own big girl bed. She was a very clingy toddler and thankfully near the end of the pregnancy she started to attach to DH, so any night waking she went to him. She was (and still is) such a loving big sister. She was of an age where should could do some things for herself, like getting food, books, toys etc She could be mummies little helper
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Age gap between your kids
If I fell pregnant now, there would be 2.5 years or there abouts.
) the negative is that they are BFF's.
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