Leash, TBH I really have been feeling the same. The Bear is very keen on more kids but right now I just want to give DD all my attention, and I am not in a hurry to have any more babies. Maybe when she is older I'll want a baby again, but right now I am just enjoying being with her. Also I agree with Mayaness on it being more about a good age gap than about numbers. And on the headspace thing.... I need to have a certain amount of headspace (not to mention sleep) otherwise I just become a completely horrible person so I don't want to overload myself IYKWIM? And I don't find it that easy to get the headspace even now so with more than one, I am not sure how I would do it.
Anyway, you're certainly not alone. Just roll with it. The way I see it, either you'll change your mind later and TTC then, or you won't and you'll be happy with Jazz.
I kind of felt the same. I knew I wanted more then one as i wanted Kayla to have a sibling especially when she is an adult and DH and I have passed. But when DH said he was ready to try for #2 when Kayla was 14months old I just wasn't ready. I (like you) wasn't ready to give up my 1 on 1 time with Kayla and really she was only still a baby herself.
Anyway, so we waited untill I felt that feeling again. The feeling of wanting a child (or in this case another child). I waited untill I got clucky again. Kayla will be 3.5 when this bub is born and I am very happy with this gap. She is quite independent, understands me, can help me out, is out of nappies etc etc. I will be able to involve her with caring for her sister. She will have different needs to her sister, iykwim, which i think will make it a bit easier.
So my advice is, go with your feelings. Wait untill you are ready. Don't worry about age gaps etc as they all have their pros and cons. You are still young (like me ) and don't need to rush. Just enjoy your gorgeous princess for now and you will know when you are ready.
I knew once Jasmine was born that I was done. I too always thought I would have about 4 kids. But I just felt finished. I just blerted it out one day when Corey and I were sitting down together and he was not surprised as he was feeling the same way. Its always best to be honest with how you are feeling, then you can't resent her for anything later.
Me too.
We say we want 3-4, but honestly sometimes not only do I feel I would be happy with just the one, but I'm not really sure if I do want more. I know that the whole AC thing is definitely one reason for this.
But LuLu is quite right - I'm always changing my mind
I had a very hard time with DS#2. It was such a stressful time that it took me five years to be able to go back and have DS#3.
After all the ups and downs i needed to get my head in the right place.
Give yourself time - maybe its a bit too early to be setting anything in concrete.
There are pros and cons. The biggest factor, for me, is how much help I'll get. DH was pretty crappy with baby DS, but is better with toddler DS and looks like he'll be Dream Daddy with primary-school-age DS. PiL are worse than useless, so we're looking to move, although that's not a promise of more children.
And then there's "me time". DS age 7, I get a WHOLE WEEKEND just for me! I won't get that with a pre-schooler around. Unless pre-schooler goes to Mum's! But I wouldn't want that, not really. I'd want to spend time.
Also, there's the "post birth" stuff. Not only "who the hell is this child, I didn't give birth, you just brought this baby to me a few hours after you took me into a theatre" stuff that isn't ideal to think about doing twice, but also the family stuff and visitors and the like.
Of course, there are days when I just need to have more children. That life isn't going to be complete without having MY child. I know DS is my child but I didn't get that when he was a baby. I need a BABY, to have that part of my life. To give birth. To have a baby of my own. To be a mother. To have more love, because I have more to give.
It's hard. I want more atm, but another time I won't and will be able to say how great it is spending time just DS and being a happy family of 3 and that all his needs are met, not pushed aside because someone else thinks they need me more. My little sister... I really wished her not around as a teenager, she took everything from me. Mum wanted me to be more like her, she was a brat, the only time I needed my parents she went and trumped me need so I had NO support or help... I won't do that to DS. He has to be an only. I can't hurt him the way I was hurt, and I was only hurt because of a sibling that I only liked once I'd stopped living with her for 5 years.
omg i was only just saying this to a friend the other day and i thought i was stupid for feelign how i was. i keep thinkin that if we have another bub that jayda will feel let out because i wont have time fo rthe 1 on 1 and that because DH doesnt do much it will be so much harder.
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) and don't need to rush. Just enjoy your gorgeous princess for now and you will know when you are ready.
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