No you are not over reacting. If she has no involvement in their lives, or no understanding of how you parent then she shouldn't be babysitting. And to let the girls loose with them is just not fair on anyone. I agree people need to earn the right to babysit it's not a given just because they are family.
:yeahthat:

I wonder why she suddenly has the urge to be so involved with your kids now? To show off to her friends? Honestly it sounds like she doesn't have anyone's best interests but her own in mind and i would definately not be leaving my kids with her if I were you. It sucks that you can't get support from your own family