Another birthday unnoticed ... to raise it, or leave it?

[peanutter]

thanks, girls!

it is odd ... I feel better getting it out, and having had DH go in to bat a bit ... and I'm thinking of just trying to suck it up now, and leave it be ...

as for her party, DH was tending towards "screw her" but frankly, that would just end up making us look and feel bad, so we're going to have a chat to BIL and SIL, and FIL, and get realistic about time and $ parameters, and go from there.

'cause we do like them, we do generally get along, and we want DS to grow up with as much family around and engaged and happily sharing life as possible.

[Muppity]

I think realistically you have to be the bigger soul about her party but if the plans are unrealistic then insist on them being toned down.

I'm sorry that they are like this - my Mum is the same - forgets DH's birthday every year but makes a big deal about my SIL's - who knows why! We have given up expecting anything.

Happy birthday

[Kaydee]

Oh I know how you feel! My Mother forgot DS's birthday this year, I was so furious but was too afraid to bring it up. She called me recently and brought it up saying that she knows she forgot but she "didn't go on facebook that day" so she forgot (??? Strangest reason in the world especially since i didn't mention it was his birthday at any time). Plus she says they can't afford anything. Apparently the few dollars it takes to send a simple card is asking too much. I didn't reply anything as i knew i would erupt into fury so I ignored what she said and changed the subject.

Really it's up to them to remember. I have a calendar hanging in my kitchen, old fashioned basic paper one. Every year I sit down and copy all the birthdays and ages of the main people in my life from the previous year into the new year. Perhaps next christmas you can make them a nice personalised calendar with everyones birthdays and ages. Adding photos and other special dates so not to highlight the "forgotten birthdays" issue.

[peanutter]

great idea kaydee - unfortunately, we actually did it last year didn't help!

[Kaydee]

great idea kaydee - unfortunately, we actually did it last year didn't help!

Oh no, that's a bit of an extra kick in the stomach for you. I was actually going to do this for my parents, but thought if they still forgot even with the calendar it would make everything even worse

[deletedit]

I don't really do birthdays ... give the family a call on the Saturday nearest their birthday but that's about it. The kids are unfortunate enough to ALL have birthdays at bad times of the year so they don't really get their own party - Miss 10 has only been home on her birthday 2 or 3 times in her life, Miss 3 is so close to Christmas she winds up with presents at Christmas time, and Mr 1 here is looking like he'll have his birthday rounded to my father's for a while yet.

The inlaws on the other hand seem to have a thing for sending gushy messages on every vaguely important occasion which I find a bit peculiar (I definitely don't do gushy messages) but at least they're predictable. We generally completely forget so the best they get is one extra facebook message on the pile of gushy facebook messages they all attract each birthday. Which I also find odd because noone else I know does that kind of thing

[Smoke Jaguar]

Minimal input for the 60th, I say!
My MiL remembers my birthday, as do my DP's aunt and cousin. It helps that my birthday is two days after DP's father's would have been, but they mark it and remember it AND I get money or gifts! Which is a nice touch, really, because my own aunts don't bother anymore. I don't even care if they remember my birthday, it's when DS's birthday comes and goes that I get miffed. All this extended family that I bothered keeping in touch with all my life and I get forgotten for my troubles.
At least in your case these people are otherwise very nice and involved More than I can say for my own rellos - who are even on Facebook now and didn't bother with birthday messages (or any other sort of message or acknowledgment of the family pics I put up).
Go minimal for MiL - after all, you don't want to make her uncomfortable with all the fuss about a birthday she isn't supposed to even care about