Cancer - how do I do this?

[BrightSparkles]

So my mum has been diagnosed with a 4mm deep melanoma on her leg. She saw the oncological surgeon yesterday who seems to think while its deep and aggressive he should be able to get it all. She will have the dye test and today taken in a couple of weeks.
Tonight she has called me in hysterics. I have never heard her like it before (she's 5hrs away). I really think its a combo of tiredness, overwhelmed with info and a while host of all the emotions that someone would feel being told they have an unpredictable cancer.
I'm hoping that people can share some advice on how best to support her. She needs to feel all these emotions and go through the stages as much as I hate sitting here and watching it feeling so helpless so far away.
Words of advice wisdom, anything you can share that can help me help her??

[Crowe]

Hi Brightsparkles, big hugs for you and sending loads of strength your way! You may be able to contact the cancer council for the local support person who can help you and your mum access the resources available ie. counseling to help her deal with the emotions involved in a cancer diagnosis and treatment.

[blessedatlast]

I thankfully don't have first hand experience, but I think Crowe has given great advice. Thinking of you as you support your Mum through this. Don't forget to look after you too

[Beautiful Disaster]

hi BS

having just been through this with my mum I know how hard it is. defiantly call the cancer council they have great support.
which state is she in? I am on phone can't see signature

[BrightSparkles]

hi BS

having just been through this with my mum I know how hard it is. defiantly call the cancer council they have great support.
which state is she in? I am on phone can't see signature

NSW going through RPA

[Beautiful Disaster]

ok. at least she is talking. my mum wouldn't speak of it and until a few days before she passed the Dr told us what was going on.

feel free to pm me I'm happy to answer anything I can

[BrightSparkles]

Thanks bd. she found out in dec and told us on Boxing Day. I made her take me with her to see the surgeon.

[AnyDream]

Sparkles . Having been through the cancer experience myself, it's very perceptive of you to understand that she's reacting to the crazy rollercoaster of the early cancer experience. The diagnosis phase is really tough, the information only comes in dribs and drabs, it's still new and a shock, there are lots of people who want to stick pointy instruments into you, and then there's the added distress around telling the people in your life. It all feels just a little unreal (or hyperreal), crazy, and out of control. This doesn't last forever, and once there's a treatment plan and it swings into action, it gets a bit easier to focus.

The Cancer Council have some good tips on how to support someone with cancer here. They also have publications dealing with various aspects of the cancer experience, including one about caring for someone with cancer. You can download those from here.

They also have a Helpline, any one with cancer or their families can ring and speak to a counsellor over the phone. This means that your mum can ring them, but that you can also ring them for help and support, too. It's a fantastic service.

[BrightSparkles]

Thanks girls. I will def have a look at all these resources. I guess part of me wants o be armed with knowledge also so that when need be I can be that voice of reason but also so I know what to expect.

[buffy1]

Just wanted to send love and support x