Been through most of the variations of working. Very long days, day shift, night shift, working away etc Each transition was hard to deal with, but we eventually got through it all. DH now works a normal 8:15 to 5:00 week, with no overtime and only the occasional night away. It is so much better for all of us. It is good to have him home of a reasonable hour of an evening. He is able to help with the kids, help with dinner if need be, actually stop at the shop on the way home.
I was always very torn when he did the night shift, whilst I really liked the late night to myself and the bed to me (DH is a terrible snorer, so I do sleep better with him not there) I hated the having to be quiet when he was sleeping during the day. To me it was like I lost half a day, as there was nothing I could do in the house and I had to keep DD1 quiet. I hated being in my own house during that time and I only had limited places to go during the day.
DH knew the shift work, working away etc was just not good for us. I felt like a single parent and DD1 barely knew him. He chopped and changed so much we could never plan and had difficulty setting up a good night time routine for DD1. He made the decision to find a job that did not have such time pressures. Things have improved, DD1's sleep is so much better. DH's health whilst not fantastic is better than it was.
Before I fell pregnant with Bub I was working crazy shifts at a club, good money but definately put a strain on DP and I as he worked normal hrs so we hardly ever saw each other as I was sometimes working till 8am.
Then when I fell pregnant I went to non shift which was SO much better. Definately get more time with family(and friends). I liked it too as I could get up on days off at a "normal time" instead of sleeping the day away.
My DH has just changed from shift work to 'normal' hours and it has made the world of difference to our relationship. DH was getting up at 2:50am, getting home at 1pm then looking after Olive until 6 when I get home thne not going to bed until 9-9:30 so he was a wreck. It put so much extra strain on our relationship and that combined with a new baby and 2 sleep deprived parents really put alot of stress on us and we were fighting heaps. Now that he is working more normal hours our fighting has reduced dramactically and we are both so much happier. He is no longer just a husk when I get home from work.
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