The fact that she's doing it unbidded means she's getting an intrinsic reward and it would be nice to recognise that (rather than 'reward') because what you don't want to do is say 'what you are doing is worth x' - and present her with something material. I think an outing with just her, you and the youngest is in order, where she can just enjoy herself and have non-carer time...a bit of mothering for the apprentice mummy may well be recognition enough without diminishing her efforts into a gift item
Perhaps to help turn your DH around to your point of view, you could liken it to how mums (or dads for that matter) like to be shown appreciation for their efforts once in a while? IYKWIM? Not so much a reward but a gesture of recognition?
I agree with your DH that she is doing what a member of a family does, but i also agree with you that this is a cause for celebration and recognition
Perhaps you could get her a beautiful book, with blank pages, and write in the front what you have put here, how wonderful she is, what a help, what a support, how much you love her. A diary for her to write in, or maybe even a book for you to write to one another in? Or if she's not a diary type then a beautiful, expensive card, the sort one would send to an adult girlfriend. The words will last longer than anything you buy her (except maybe jewelry) and she'll be able to read them back in good times and bad and know how loved and appreciated she was. My mum sent me several cards like this and since her death in 2005 i have so appreciated being able to read back how it was with us when she was here and it's even helping to shape the way i treat DD.
Anyway, you two should be very proud too, she didn't grow into such a responsible helpful caring girl without a pretty special mama and dada modelling those personal attributes themselves.
The diary to write to each other sounds fantastic, she would love that.
I also said that i would get DH to look after the boys and take her out to say thank you. We are going to go and have dinner somewere.
My Mum sent her a card which she recieved yesterday afternoon in the post.
It says:
My Emma, Nana just wanted to let you know that I am proud of you, You are a beautiful person inside and most importantly you make me proud for the way you help your MUm with your brothers.
People like you who are beautiful on the outside and inside are rare.
wowo tan
That is an absolutly beautiful card. I would love to recieve something like that, so being that age must have been just amazing.
The dinner and diary idea is awsome. good luck with it all
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