I dont know if this will help but heres what we did with DD1.

*we involved her with finding sheets/pillow etc for her big girl bed
*we were changing rooms at the same time, so we put her cot in the new room next to the bed - she wanted to sleep in the bed though so it was only in there for the first night.
*we layed down with her at first - I had a 4 week plan to gradually move away till I was leaving the room when she was awake and it worked really well!
*we have a baby gate across the hallway about a metre from her door so she can come out of her room but not very far! We have to though, because its upstairs...

HTH! All the best