Thanks everyone for the advice. I have told XP to get onto legal aid about this. He discussed it with his son's teacher and integraion aid after school yesterday, just the possibly going for custody bit not all the other stuff, and they said they think it is a good idea. His integration aid (full time) told him she would be prepared to give a statement saying that she feels it would be in his son's best interest to live with the father.

Fi - thanks for the welcome back. Had a few inferiority issues with my ability to mum due to the opinions and attitudes of some, so stayed away.