Crying over Sisters now Ex boyfriend

[Reet]

My sister has just broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years 2 days ago and IM finding it really hard!! My sister is upset but I think they've both been having issues for a while now so I guess it had to happen. My sister is living with me now so I have been chatting to her a bit over the last few days and I find myself trying to convince her to go back to him... And I know I have to stop!! But I really liked him and thought they made a great couple, I know they had little problems along the way like the rest of us but they really suited each other. The main reason for splitting up is shes ready to settle down and get married etc but he still isn't and says he wont be for another couple years.

I feel so sorry for her ex boyfriend being left in the house they shared together with their 2 dogs and pretty much no family around while she has a Mum, Dad and 2 sisters to share the pain with. Today I am feeling so sad. I feel as though I have lost a family member, and even worse my DD has lost an awesome Uncle. Im crying over it but feel a bit silly! Is this normal?! Has anyone else been through something similar?? Did u find it tough??

I really want to keep a relationship with him but am thinking hes probably just going to want to get us all out of the picture and try and move on, plus it would probably be a bit awkward not having my sister there and trying to avoid the subject of her.

This is so new to me as when my sisters have broken up with past boyfriends their relationships have been full of abuse and Ive been begging them to end it.. but this one felt so right, and we all accepted him into our family right from the start.. we even went on a family holiday with his family 6 months ago!

What do u think I should do? Wait a week or so and go and see him with my DD? She loves him so much! I can make the excuse that Im dropping off fresh eggs from our chooks which I normally do, but I just don't know!! I don't want to cry when I see him!!!

[Santosha]

Oh I hear you. I miss my sister's ex HEAPS and was devastated when they broke up, even though it was %100 the right thing for them. It was still a huge loss for me. He was like a bonus brother. We got on so well and he really loved my kids, perhaps more than my real brother - I know he really misses them and it made him sad that he wouldn't be in their lives as much. Fortunately they're still on good terms and my sister gets that we all had a relationship with him and has no issue with me sending him the occasional text or catching him for coffee when he's in town (now lives interstate). It's not the same as having him for all our family events of course, but at least we didn't lose him completely.

I guess pursuing a friendship with him would depend on how it impacted him, but also how your sis felt about it.

[~clover~]

My BIL & SIL are only in their late teens & early 20's, but I know it was hard for them when ex & I split. Hard for me too, to leave them They were 4 & 7 when I first met them.
I love them & stayed with his family for 2 weeks when I went home. Nothing will change my relationship with them. SIL, MIL & I text all the time. It might be different given that there are kids involved, & that they are with me, but I have more to do with them than ex. He's an hour away, I'm on the other side of the country...