Damn biological urge!

[Liz]

*sigh*

Do I want another baby? Do I really want to talk DH around? (proving a bit difficult atm LOL).

Talking to a friend yesterday about possibly going to the snow together for a holiday, I was thinking yep, I'm ready to get on with the kids growing up and enjoying the next stage out of baby-dom, going on family holidays etc etc. And I do worry how things will work when the kids outnumber the parents LOL. It's kinda good just dealing with one ratty kid each hehe.

But I just can't help that damn yearning for another baby If I hear that someone else is pregnant I get knots in my stomach with the thought of not having any more I can't bear the thought of getting rid of any baby clothes or cots or anything.

Help! Someone tell me what I want If I have a 3rd, will the yearning go away? Do you ever really feel finished with baby making? I do keep warning DH that if we don't get on with #3 soon, and have a bigger gap, I'll be wanting a 4th to keep the 3rd company LOL. Maybe I won't ever really feel finished, so do I just go with DH only wanting the 2?

argh!

[Arimeh]

I think only you can answer that question - I always go with your gut - that is what will make you the most happiest.

For me, I want another kid... and I know that I want another kid...can't wait to fall pregnant again actually.... although the thought of having both kids grown up and being around 5 and 3.5 sounds really good too - but I know in my heart that I'm not done yet.

I had to put away Miss M's clothes today - had to take out the 000 suits because she's too long for them now... and I got a bit misty eyed... she's no longer a newborn - now she's a baby... all too soon she'll be a toddler.. then a little girl... its scary how fast it goes....

Only you know if you will feel "complete" with out having another one. I wish you well!!!
xx

ETA - and I reckon you will know when you are done.. I think you get a sense of fulfillment when you are done .. and there is no yearning for more... a complete yearning that is - that takes over your body... IYKWIM? I'm hoping to get that sense when I've had #3.. lol

[Liz]

Yeah I know only i know the answer hehe. But how I'd love to just be told what I want sometimes!

But who's gut is more important? Mine or DH? I already had to talk him into #2, altho we did kinda know we didn't really want just one. But he would have been happy to stop at 1 I'm sure. 3 has always been the number for me.. I wanted 2 boys and a girl hehe. So he has known, but it wasn't always said in a very serious way. But I'm oh so serious now. I have pretty much promised him that if we have #3 I will feel finished (eek.. I hope that it's true) but at least I can deal with the pg and baby knowing that it's my last.. and I think that would make a difference. I've sort of gone in to both my pregnancies feeling like it's something I can do again. At least I can make something of my last if I know it's my last.

Oh man, I dunno.

[Arimeh]

Hmm. you sound exactly like me - and even the fact that I always wanted 2 boys and 1 girl.. lol

I think you should sit down with him and just lay it all out for him - tell him you don't think you are finished - maybe he doesn't REALLY realise that its THAT important to you.

Maybe he would be willing to go for a 3rd if he knows how much it means to you ya know? I'm pretty sure my DH would be happy to stay as we are - but he knows how much I need - not just want but NEED - to have a 3rd - and I've never kept my feelings quiet about wanting a 3rd - so maybe he's hearing you.. but not really HEARING you... IYKWIM?

Ok, Ok I'll tell you - go for a third But wait till June then we can be belly buddies lol

[Olive]

i dont think the urges ever really go away!!
i know after this one the urge with be stronge again but we have always said we'd only have two kids, so it will be harder to deal with this time!!
i think you need to do whats best for your family, so all, DH, kids, you...

[widdly]

I don't reckon the urge to reproduce will go away til we are old and menopausal. I would go for anohter bub anytime, but DH is adament that 1 is enough for us, so that is it, i have dealt with that (though it took a while) and have given away all the baby stuff. Giving the baby stuff away helped me to get used to the idea that there wont be any more babies for me, even though i had misty eyes whilst packing things up and giving them away.

For us, i knew DH only wanted 1, but a few months ago i begged him for another bub and eventually he gave in and agreed to ttc, but it doesn't feel right trying for a baby thats not truly wanted, so we stopped trying and agreed our family is complete as it is.

All you can do is sit DH down when the kids are in bed and have a heart to heart with him, let him know exactly how strong your feelings are and how strong his feelings are.

GL, i know that is is a painfuully frustrating not knowing whether to go for it or not

[Cassius2]

I so hear you on this one Liz.

We are starting the whole 'do we?' or 'dont we?' conversation regarding having another. we love our DD, but found the newborn thing so confronting (being away from family and friends took a toll emotionally i think on both of us). but now that she is past that stage and we have 'become' parents, we just love her to bits and have started to re-ignite our initial idea of having 2 kids.

i'm the same that i get a knot in my stomach when i hear of friends falling pg or having babies and i think i stare too intently at pg strangers!! LOL! i HATE putting her clothes away and the thought of packing her cot and things away FOREVER just freaks me out.

urggh it is such a dilemma! cause like you, i WANT to know that the next will be the last so that i can cherish EVERY stage as it comes. with DD i 'knew' that we would have another and in a way rushed through the pg and newborn stuff and now she is growing too fast (hear ya arimeh on the misty-eye packing!).

Good luck with what you decide (and keep us posted...i need all the hints i can get on this one too LOL!)

[aussienic]

I only got that really bad urge after number 3.. It just wouldn't go away.. I used to cry at the thought of never having anymore babies..

I have to say even though I would love more babies that urge urge has gone..

3 isn't so bad

[Sibbie]

hehehe just wait, I'm harrasing DH, whittling down the years i am having to wait for my babies... it's gone from 8 to 5... it will be 3 soon... hehehe then maybe next year if i nag enough! Then you will just have to have another with me

Lol we will keep trying, Together we will wear them down!!!!!

ps. Man I am soooo addicted to BB. The more i read the more I can't wait to have babies!!!!!!!!!

[Liz]

Argh Sophie - re-reading this thread has made me clucky again.. even tho I'm having a terrible time with my 2yr old these days! LOL.

Sometimes reality hits me, like when I was sick on the way home from camping, the thought went through my head.. omg, i couldn't do 3 months of morning sickness again. LOL.

I think another thing that puts me off a bit is a feeling of not being able to ask for help with 3 kids. It's almost like I think people will be thinking I brought it on myself having more than 2, so i have to deal with it. I'd feel bad asking mum (who's 75) to help with 3 kids.. she only really copes with 1 at a time now! LOL.

And yeah.. I'm sure my hanging out on BB all the time doesn't help.. makes me want to be preggers again. heh.

So Soph, are we still gonna go to the snow and let the kids trash that house? hehe.

[Jahzara]

HI !

You sound just like i did not so long ago.

I had 2 boys with a 2.5 year gap. Second was an absolute nightmare baby !
5 years later said to my husband i wanted another one - eeeeeekkkkk !!
I guess i was over the trauma of baby number 2.
Along came baby number 3.
Now that baby number 3 is 19 months old we have decided to try again ( last one! )
I must be crazy but we feel like baby 3 will be like an only child and it would be nice for him to have a playmate. Dont know about our chance of any holidays in the next 10 years or so !
I thought i was over the longing and yearning - NOT!!!!
It is a big decision - cant believe i might have 4 kids.

Good luck - I have 3 boys. Ages 9, 6.5, 19 months.
(secretly hoping for GIRL - more than happy with another boy ! )

[Lulu]

I thought I was WELL over any urge, well over. I feel complete with three....until we were looking at DS's photo albums, his birth etc. Then he started kinder this year....oh dear I found myself longing for just one more.

won't be happening though!

[Sibbie]

haha yeah we will still go to the snow.... hahah but remember it is just couples?? lol no children.. they will have to hide in our suitcases lol. ahh.. like i said, our togetherness in nagging for babies will eventually work

[Phteven]

I went through a super-clucky stage when Imran was about 1. Luckily for me DH refused to even contemplate another. Eventually the clucky passed and I'm so grateful to DH.
I love having my 2 big boys, being able to go away with only enough equipment for half an army and being semi-spontaneous. I'm really glad that I can enjoy my family without the stress of a baby.
Maybe one day I'll want another but for now I'm selfishly enjoying trips to the snow, free days(thanks to child care) and conversations about which ice-cream is the most important.