Sending you big hugs tara. Its such a hard situation and no-one really understands how hard it is for us. DH is in the RAAF and he missed our first wedding anniversary and most of my last trimester with ds (he only made it back from a trip by 4 days before ds decided to make his early appearance). I used to find it so hard as none of our civi friends understood what i went through when dh was away for weeks on end, no one got how i felt when dh went to work everyday and i didn't know if he would be sent on another trip, and no-one understands the stress we go through when we are alone on special days. I would always whinge to dh about it but as you say, they feel bad about it too but there is often nothing that they can do. Plus i think its harder for them coz they are away from their loved ones on special occasions. Make the day as special as you can for your little man and give him twice as many hugs and kisses to make up for daddy being away and when he gets back have a big celebration. Your special little man will be spoilt double!