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I have my days where I love it and then there are the days I hate it..
I like being able to be home with my kids as I would miss them heaps if I worked. (I quit work when my eldest was 11 months old)
I like being able to go to all the school things. I don't think I would find the time to work now. hats off to those mums that do (and the dads) My Dh has said if I could get a job that paid the same as his we would swap roles but that won't ever happen
i enjoy it. i was so excited to give up work back in March, i was only casual, 4 nights a week. (ok, i miss the $$ but i loved not having to 'go to work')
im a real homebody.. i enjoy being home and just doing things at my own pace.... i get satisfaction out of housework. and yes.. grocery shopping is the highlight of my week as well!!
im just at the beginning of a mini business venture (nothin major, just a hobby.) and i plan to sell my crafty things at markets. i dont plan to make big bucks, but it something i enjoy, and i will treat my time at markets as 'work'
i do plan to go back to work after xmas... my old boss has said she will have me back when im ready! the only thing i will be changing is instead of working 4pm-9pm 4 times a week.. i'd rather do like 5pm-8pm.. which is more convienient.
Firstly I want to say good on you for posting this. I think many people are not loving what they are doing but don't always have the confidence to say so, feeling they need to say it is all wonderful to justify their decisions and lifestyle. Good on you for being honest.
I don't have kids (yet) but I think the lifestyle will not necessarily suit me and my preferred way of being. I operate well when I have lots of pressing things to do, deadlines, pressure etc. Give me a day packed full of appointments and a to do list and I'll go like the clappas and get it all done. Give me a day with a few things that might need to be done and I am hopeless, I'll leave everything to the last possible time and probably not get half of it done. I think I need a bit of structure and the pressure of a deadline and I'm not sure if being a SAHM will give me that. I could be wrong though!
And thank you to those who have said you get no satisfaction from housework - I am not alone!!!!! My life has been reduced from super busy, working, travelling, socialising (whilst living overseas) to pretty much housework and thats all. I hate it. Because I have nothing I 'need' to do I have no motivation to do anything. Grrrr
Interesting thread!
My answer.... yes, but. Yes, but I do crave mental stimulation and contact with the outside world sometimes. It can get boring at home - for sure. I am also a person who is at their best when they are busy. I mean- the more time I have, the more time I waste. Then I get frustrated at myself!! I feel guilty for not having a perfectly clean house when I have so much time on my hands. I really hate housework....:wall: and I'm certainly not ashamed to admit it!!
Then again, if I actually imagine myself going off to work, dropping DS at his nannas or daycare, it makes me sad- and a bit jealous, and I don't want that either.
So for now I find it useful to remind myself of this simple fact in order to get a realistic perspective; he/they will only be this little for so long. A really short time, when you consider the potential life span we have ahead of us. Once my kids are 'in the system' - kindy, school etc - there's no going back. I will have time to work and not feel guilty, and then soon enough they will become young adults, and they wont rely on me for much, therefore I will have 3 decades to work if I so choose. That's a long time!!
Sometimes doing the 'flash-forward' really helps me to appreciate what I have now. I imagine myself sitting in an office etc, being answerable to a boss and collegues etc, traffic, rushing to get dinner on, not feeling as though I have time to stop and smell the roses, and I think whoa- that's whats coming, so enjoy the now. Enjoy the boring. Because once the boring is over, its going to get bloody hectic for a long time to come! So long as I continue to get out once a day - even if its just a walk around the suburbs, I figure I am probably adding years to my life with the absence of stress - that everyday, busy routine, deadline stress that work brings.
On the other hand - I only have 1 child at the moment! I'm sure that when #2 (and possibly #3) arrives I won't have time to be bored and I will long for the time I once had.
I am, most days, bored, lonely and restless. i miss feeling like I was doing something important, I miss adult company. I get so frustrated with the constant trvia of dealing with a little kid.
At other times, i feel grateful and blessed that I am able to do this, to be at home and watch my little man grow. I'm lucky I don't have to go work, plus have all the responsibilities of running a home that i have now.
Indeed, a double edged sword.
Rory, I love that passage too. That's the way I think of it- this time in my life is my 'mummy and little kids time' and soone neough that will flow into something else.
Yes i do love it but i do miss being out in the real world with adults. But my studies now give me some sort of being. so by the time my boys are @ school and kinder i can get a job
Love it some days and hate it others. I am on leave and am headed back to work in October so am trying to squeeze as much as I can into this time (and remember that there is only one shot for each moment). For me it is important to get a break from the kids occasionally and also have some company during the week....sometimes harder to do than others.
I love being a SAHM ...but I dislike the mundanity of every day! I hate housework (I'm glad I'm not the only one!!) so my house is always not the tidiest around, I frequently rely on ABC Kids or the Wiggles to grab some sanity :redface:, and I feel my brain is way past mush - I get really nervous meeting DH at work things (he's a lawyer) and I rarely talk! I have my moments when I think that it would be much better if i go back to work and put DD in childcare - because surely that would be more beneficial than yet another stint of the wiggles and I think that I'm no good at being a SAHM because the house is never tidy, dinner isn't always cooked, and the washing is not done.
But, in another moment, I think I don't want to hand the raising of my DD to some one else (and this is in no means a personal attack on anyone who does childcare - like I always say, you do whatever works for you and noone else - everyone's situation is different). Its hard and I really don't feel I get the same respect I would if I'd gone back to work, but being with DD and watching her do something new is fantastic, and knowing I'm the special person in her life is priceless - she's started calling most of the men in our family Dad- and DH was saying earlier that he wonders when she will realise that he is a bit more special than say my dad - because he's not always around (he works really long hours and plays sport on top of that). But there's no chance that she'll get me confused with someone else because I'm her primary carer.
DD is begining to get more interactive (although it can still be reptitive - sorting shapes gets boring after 10 minutes for me!) and I'm looking forward to doing crafty stuff and painting and baking. And I'm really not a SAHM - if I can find an excuse to get out of the house, I do!
I get a great deal of satisfaction out of being home- BUT, I couldn't do it full time. I run my own business which will suck up as much of my time as I could give it, so I have plenty of external stimulation. Too much, actually, I wish I had more just "home time". But I know I need both to be happy.
All I'm saying is, I don't think women are divided into two categories- satisfied by home or satisfied by work. Like most things, there is a continuem. I think we need to work out where we fall on that and do what we can to have a sah/work balance that meets where we sit (I know very well indeed that this is not always possible!). There is definately some truth in 'happy mama, happy bubba'.
:yeahthat::
I also think Rory hit the nail on the head as I was often bored being SAHM and was relieved when I first went back to work parttime for the past 4 mnths. But I found I hated work most of the time and idealised being at home. Now that I am a SAHM mum again I am a little daunted. I hate housework, I don't cook, I hate washing... love spending time with DS but it can be very boring haha all the things I forgot about.
Does anyone know how to find that motivation for housework - how to find that satisfaction?
This time I have set some ground rules about having 'me' time at least once a week, if he gets a weekend then he can share it :p
After being a SAHM for 4 years and having 3 kids cabin fever has finally hit me. Going back to work is not an option for me so I will be doing some short courses next year to keep me sane.
I wish i had time to get bored! My baby doesn't sleep at all during the day so i'm lucky if i can go to the loo in peace.
I do agree with the brain drain thing though. sometimes the lack of workmates/adult conversation makes me feel a little stupid sometimes.
I don't get bored either..just lonely and I feel like a slave at times.
Same! I had a good tantrum last week when my partner came home to a spotless house and said that he was too tired to bath the baby while i was cooking dinner because he "worked" all day!:
There are things I love.. and things I hate.
I love: being able to get up and start the day slowly instead of rushing out the door; lying in bed with DS stroking my face in the morning before getting up; being able to do whatever I would like to do with the day (well, within the bounds of what is possible with kids in tow); not having to force my body into a 9-5 routine; not having to sit in traffic for ages; being able to spend heaps of time with my kids and watching them grow and change; the close relationship I have with my kids; having time to catch up with friends, see my mum, etc;
I hate: the loneliness; the lack of motivation to get outside which overcomes me often; not being able to easily get in the car and nip to the shops if need be; struggling to get time for a shower; feeling guilty that I don't have the emotional energy to be engaged with the kids as much as I should/they want; the lack of leave entitlements!!; the groundhog day feeling; not being able to do anything *(eg cooking, gardening) without little hands (and little tantrums) wanting to get involved; that it takes sooooooooooooooooo long to get everyone ready and out of the house when I do want to do something/go somewhere.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now
Do I enjoy being a SAHM?
No, not really. I probably would have hated it more if I was a SAHM and nothing else. At the moment, I am doing my final semester. My studies have kept me busy throughout my pregnancy, birth and now looking after my toddler. I can't wait to go out into the workforce. Being a SAHM is pretty boring.
:yeahthat: You have it covered for me Skeetaboat!:
Sure, I have my days where being a SAHM drives me completely mental, bores me to tears, and I feel like it's the loneliest thing in the world because the only adults I talk to on a regular basis are my husband and my mother... but in all honesty, I'd still rather be doing this than working some crappy dead-end job getting paid peanuts and slogging my bum off for 9 hours a day to make some other jerk rich. Maybe it would be different if I had an actual 'career', but all my jobs pre-children were crappy retail/hospitality jobs and tbh I don't think you could pay me to go back to that kind of stuff. I'm looking at using my time as a SAHM to get a proper education and some skills so that when the kids go to school, I can go to work doing something I actually *want* to get out of bed for every morning... but if I had a choice between being a SAHM and doing what I used to do, I'd take the worst parts of being a SAHM any day!