Do you get time to spend "quality play" time with your kids?

[BekZ]

Hello,

I am a SAHM of two daughters. I am wondering if anyone gets to the end of the day only to realise that they have not spent any quality playtime with their kids?

Even though I am a SAHM my day seems to be consumed with doing housework, cooking, shopping, taking phone calls, changing nappys etc. Oh yeah I clean part-time, do hair part-time, we go to playgroup once a week and my eldest has swimming once a week too.

Does anyone have a daily routine to balance normal household activities and playtimes with their kids?

[Trillian]

Yeah, and sometimes that's why my house looks like a hovel LOL. Most of the time I just go where my day takes me really. I might spend one day where I don't *do* a lot with the kids, but then other times I will spend nearly all day with them doing different things. It's almost always spontaneous, cause I guess you can't really plan it.

[Curly]

Yes, this is me. Today was one of those days and I always feel really guilty when I haven't spent much quality time with DS. I tend to try and make sure I keep up a running commentary with him, especially if he is watching TV, because I don't like long periods of silence or him staring at the TV.

It's quite hard at the moment because I'm due to give birth in 2 weeks - in the morning I feel really tired and nauseous so I kind have to sit fairly quietly while I wait for that to pass. By early afternoon my back hurts and going for a walk to the park, playing at the park and walking back is often too much for me to even think about, bearing in mind my limited bladder capacity at the moment. So DS is getting lots of stories read to him at the moment!!

I do make sure we have one outing a day though, even if that is just to the park or the shops or pushing him around the streets on his bike, or a little playdate with someone from mother's group. I used to do 2 outings a day but I can't physically manage that at the moment. At the shops I make sure we stop at the playcentre and the toy shop so he can play with the Thomas the Tank Engine display table, which he loves and I let him play pretty much as long as he wants because he doesn't get a nap (and I get to sit down). We do Gymbaroo one day a week and I also have my mother's group so he gets to play with other kids. Fortunately DH gets home from work early (he starts early) so he and DS then play horsey back rides and that kind of thing before dinner and bathtime, and DS is in bed between 6.00 and 6.30pm.

I've been trying to keep the house looking somewhat presentable and that puffs me out as well. Most days if I manage to keep the kitchen bench wiped and get the beds made I'm happy but then that means on the weekend I break my neck to do a proper clean of the house and it takes ages because DS either wants to help or I'm just too tired and my back is too sore to do it quickly. DH tries to keep DS out of the way but DS just loves to help mop and vacuum.

I'm so aware that with a new baby on the scene things will probably get worse so this is the main reason we are getting a cleaner in, starting tomorrow actually. I feel like this will really take the pressure off so I can spend more time with DS and the baby and if the place looks like a hovel it doesn't matter so much because the cleaner will be coming and they will fix it. I won't have the pressure of thinking that the worse the house looks, the more I will have to do to fix it.

I try to do little bursts of quality playtime. DS knows I never say no to a book so he often will bring me a book to read. If he is playing cars or trains I will join in for about 10 minutes and then maybe slip away to make the bed and then come back again. So no...I guess I am not much help...no real routine to speak of, tends to get made up as I go along...and I'm outsourcing for help!

[BekZ]

Curly - All the best with your new bub. You are probably doing the right thing by toning down your outings, because you DS will need to get used to being a little more house bound with bub is here. I used to do heaps of activities with DD1, but now i seem to be too busy for some reason. I think I need to re-prioritise things. Good on you for getting a cleaner. I am going to do that when/if I have another bub.


Trillian - My house looks like a hovel too at times This stresses me out because i am a bit of a neat freak. Although I am much more relaxed about it these days

[Mez80]

It is not easy to find that balance but is a matter of trying different things i think. I work 4 weekdays and use to do all the weeks cooking on monday so i can spend time with dd when we get home of an afternoon...then my monday 'off ' became 'crazy monday" and dd wouldnt get much attention on mondays as i was obsessed with getting things done. She now pushes me out of the kitchen to play with her or go outside etc so i cook dinner the night b4 now and that works. Just dont ask me about quailty time for myself coz thats a different story!! DH helps but its unfortunate he works so far from home and gets home about 7pm every night. I enjoy being able to just heat dinner, eat with dd and play till she goes to bed, when i get home from work.

[BekZ]

Mez - Adding work into the mix is a whole different ball game. I do alot of work at night. I find washing clothes, hanging them out, folding, vacuuming, and washing floors easier to do at night when the kids are in bed...DH thinks I am nuts.

My 3 yo becomes a little so in so if I don't pay her enough attention. She is full on atm and wants mummy to dance, dress up, roll play. Some days I feel so bad because it seems that i am constantly telling her to wait or that mummy is busy.

[aussienic]

I did notice I was spending less and less time enjoying the kids.. starting this week bugger the housework and i spent my afternoons colouring in or just playing on the floor with olivia. I notice the kids are more settled and I am feeling happier and am enjoying bieng a mummy again...

i still make time for the housework but I put my kids above it all now.. Only been 4 days and we are happier

[AnyDream]

Yep, I feel like this sometimes too. But be consoled, I did the Triple P parenting skills program recently and they said it's actually more important that you stop what you're doing and pay attention to the child for a couple of minutes when they come up to you throughout the day, than it is to schedule big slabs of 'quality' time together. The other big thing they emphasise is setting aside some time (it only needs to be 15-30 mins) for family time at the end of the day. That's usually cuddling up to read a story or playing a game/talking with older kids before bed time.

BTW ladies who claim to live in hovels...In my experience it's usually the neater cleaner ladies that complain about their hovel houses - the really slobby messy people don't even notice what they are living in!!

[BekZ]

I did notice I was spending less and less time enjoying the kids.. starting this week bugger the housework and i spent my afternoons colouring in or just playing on the floor with olivia. I notice the kids are more settled and I am feeling happier and am enjoying bieng a mummy again...

i still make time for the housework but I put my kids above it all now.. Only been 4 days and we are happier

Nic - I have decided to try and do this very thing. I feel that Sara needs me to role play with her and join it a bit. When Loren goes down for a nap I try and do an activity with Sara, it may only be 15mins but at least she knows that she has my attention all to herself. Same thing goes for Loren, altough Sara doesn't sleep anymore and she tends to want to take over all the games.

MD - Hello sweety!!!! I have often thought about doing the Triple P program. Did you enjoy it? We have family time most nights, and Sara seems to be more willing to go to bed us if we do have it.

[AnyDream]

Bek ! I found the program really useful, esp since DD1 has an auditory processing issue which means she drives us wild from not being able to follow instructions very well . I dragged DH along too, but yet to see if it's had any impact cos he's been o/seas since then. But they give you a book to go back to when you need it plus I'm pretty sure i could ring the ladies who taught it for ideas any time I need to.