my mother also has a short temper and my dad was like mum instead of my mother as she wasnt what you call a mum.... she has at time yelled and lost her cool with my children but noone other than me and their dad is to smack them ever i would go nuts.
Well, we don't smack. My MIL wont (doesn't) smack. I worry about my parents, not that we ever spend much time with them anyway but no it isn't acceptable for them to smack her at all. There would be hell to pay if they ever did.
MIL & Her partner live overseas, and my kids don't spend time alone with FIL and his wife so we dont have to worry about about them- but if they ever were to spend time with them I would make my ideas on smacking extremley clear.
As I child I was very very rarely smacked, and I knew when I was that I had pushed the boundaries wayyyyyyyyy to far- Mum and dad have the kids alot, and mum has already said that she would never smack the kids as she knows that is not the way we discipline.
In all honesty I dont think that it is anyone but a parents job to discipline a child when they are present, and when your child is in the care of someone else, I think that person should follow the discipline methods that you choose as your family.
My MIL has threatened my girls, which I really don't like, but has never smacked them. I really don't think she ever would.
My mum has smacked my DD's & neice. DD1 I don't remember (not even sure if she has to tell the truth), but DD2 & my neice ran off & ran across a road. I was pushing a pram & mum ran after them when they ignored us & kept running.
Thats the only time I can remember her doing it & that was purely for their safety & to hope they never do that again.
We smack for certain things, but we have put a great deal of thought into our reasoning behind it, and the boundaries that come with that. I am generally not okay with someone else smacking my child because they have not put as much thought into the discipline of my children as I have.
I say generally because I am close to my parents and inlaws, and have told them they can smack if my child deliberately behaves dangerously after being told not to (eg, lets go of a hand in a carpark and runs, shoves things into a powerpoint), because to me, that is not a lesson that can wait til mum and dad come to get them. I also expect to be told when this happens (not often at all, because a grandparent growl is more effective than a parent growl), and called if they're unsure about anything. We're still the boss, the grandparents are just our discipline henchmen.
Anyway. That is not something that most will agree with, and I'm sure there will be people who think badly of me and can't comprehend the thought and care we put into the discipline of our children, especially when we originally thought we wouldn't choose to smack, but I wanted to contribute my different viewpoint.
On the side - if you don't smack, obviously you you've thought about it and have your reasons for that, so if you're not comfortable with your mother smacking (especially when your experience is that she can lack self-control), my personal thought would be not to let it slide.
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