[QUOTE=misty;2858756]
I have had others comment how 'lucky' I am, but I don't choose to see it that way. I am not 'lucky', I am just stubborn and opinionated. DH learnt a LONG time ago that when he is around he is expected to pull his weight. I understand he can't always be there, but when he is, he has his family responsiblities. If he doesn't, then I won't tolerate it. If I am not happy, I will damned sure make certain that HE isn't happy. I am VERY vocal about my expectations and about my feelings when he doesn't follow through. I don't expect him to do everything I dictate, but I do expect that if he does agree to do something then he WILL follow though, and if he has no intention on doing something he will be honest about it (and if it is important, like dinner, I can fully explain the fall out - ie, kids being hungry and whingy, me being pee'd off and irritable, etc, etc.).
QUOTE]

Exactly what I think & are my expectations. I really feel for people (women) when they are expected or assume they have to take it all on. It is not fair & I don't think that just b/c your partner work X hrs a week excuses them from pulling their weight. They expect their wife/partner to do all the baby stuff, housework, cooking etc.... which IMO is unfair. I know from discussions with some of my gf's that they are confortable with their 'role' (doing everything, or so they say) and that is fine - what works for your family is equally important, but don't then complain to me that they *wish* their DP/DH did more - well say something, ask them!
For us, it has been very important for my DH to contribute via housework or looking after DD. I was very fortunate that when DD was first born and that DH had ALOT of interaction with DD. Whilst she still had separation anxiety from me, she was OK with being comforted by her Dad. He also kept me sane enough & I think this helped with only having anxiety & not developing into PND. (JMO of course)