Dressing Boys (clothing choices)

[briggsy's girl]

i think part of the issue is perception from those around you. i mentioned to my SIL when i was only about 8 weeks pg that i'd like to get some nighties as well as sleep suits - it didn't seem to gel that boys (as babies) would wear a nightie

i have no issue in crossing "the line" color wise - i've deliberately looked for blue and other colors that are typically boyish, and would look for similar for a boy (i KNOW BW's boy has a bright red suit somewhere!) - but i think part of the issue is in HOW feminine something is, and the fact that, as a baby, they have no say in their individual likes. htere are some things that are just feminine, and i wouldn't choose to put them on a boy myself.

having said that, Gremlin has pink and purple sleep suits - and if we were to have a boy, he'd wear them to sleep too! that part doesn't worry me cos the cut isn't feminine kwim?

can't see myself putting a lacy pinafore on a boy for any reason (unless he was into the arts and it was costume - my bro has worn some VERY feminine stuff!) - particularly as a baby!

[Willow]

To be perfectly honest, 95% of DS' clothes thus far have been hand me downs from my friend's little boy and my nephew so I haven't actually chosen them as such (although there is stuff I don't like and he hasn't worn). I have actually only had to go out and buy him a handful of outfits.

But he wears pretty much every colour: black, brown, blue, green, red, yellow. He has nappies (mcn) in every colour but pink I guess, including purple, red, orange, yellow.

I wouldn't buy pink for him but if he chose something when he was older that had pink in it, I can't see that would phase me too much.

Are sandals an issue I had no idea about that! As long as they were blue, black, brown, any dark colour I'd put them on him I think?

[*Ang*]

One of Alex's fave things to wear for a while was his sister's silky princess printed nightie. I didnt mind, DH was a bit "reluctant" about it but his family, OMG what a fuss they made about it not being right. We also have lots of photos of him wearing fairy and princess dress ups because to him that was the most natural thing to do especially with a big sister prancing around in them.

As a baby I also used up a lot of his sister's hand me downs and he regularly wore pink jumpsuits around the house and to bed. DH and I didnt really see a problem with that, altho upon saying that I would change him if we left the house. He did wear quite a bit of yellow and green outside the house tho.

Now as an "older" boy he wears blues, greens, reds and a bit of black, brown and grey. He has at least one purple top too. There really isnt a lot of deviation choice wise out in the shops anyway if you wanted to dress him any differently.

He also wears little leather sandals as well as his fave spiderman ones!

[Matryoshka]

I dress my boys in bright clothes, i love greens, orange, reds, purple.

I'm constantly disappointed that the generic fashion is lots of brown, grey, royal or pale blue, navy. And i absolutely loathe the baggy knee length shorts, i wish they still made proper shorts for boys, not military skater style. (though lenght is handy for protecting knees from scrapes), the cuts though could be so much nicer.

I don't buy pink because i hate pink for myself. But if either boy wanted something in pink i wouldn't mind, in fact i encourage my toddler to choose what he'd like to wear.

I prefer he wears sneakers over sandals, only because they are a perfect fit and more supportive on his feet, and i'm very pedantic about shoes that fit properly. Many of the sandals in stores have soles way too hard for little growing feet. But if we are at home or outside our home he goes barefoot.

[briggsy's girl]

ooh, i did want to add - i have NO issues at all with putting little boys (babies etc) in hand knitted cardis/jackets - as old fashioned as that is! from the day i found out that all was ok at 8 week scan, i was hunting for someone who made matinee jackets - i just think they're so cute for babies! i have found it so hard to find anything like that when looking in shops - so have found people to make them for me!

[Matryoshka]

I love anything handmade or knitted. I find that if you trawl the WAHM sites you can buy vintage looking stuff because its hand made. Plus you're supporting local industry. That's how where i like to buy the boys clothes and toys.

[Madissun]

ooh, i did want to add - i have NO issues at all with putting little boys (babies etc) in hand knitted cardis/jackets - as old fashioned as that is! from the day i found out that all was ok at 8 week scan, i was hunting for someone who made matinee jackets - i just think they're so cute for babies! i have found it so hard to find anything like that when looking in shops - so have found people to make them for me!

Oh BG i wish i'd known! My Nanna makes the knits the most beautiful little baby cardigans. I have about 5 from when DS was a baby!

[Madissun]

Bath - I avoid all the licensed stuff too. The quality just doesn't seem to be there.

I dress DS mostly in red! He is half Jamaican and has beautiful coloured skin and black curly hair. If he wanted to wear pink, i'd let him He loves wearing all my bracelets and my mums beads! He puts them on and we say "oh be-yoot-iful" and he loves it!

[Jewel]

My boys were bright stuff most of the time. Red, orange, green. I also like black. Alot of clothes DS2 wears are the clothes DS1 wore. They are super cute and I love them even more the second time around.

xox

[Bathsheba]

HERE's a (non commercial) link to a children's book illustrating the type of shoe that many people (I think) would consider to be too feminine for a boy to wear... yeah?

Like I said, they are still available today, for boys in the pre-school age group. But because of the covered toe most people will only buy them for girls.

[briggsy's girl]

HERE's a (non commercial) link to a children's book illustrating the type of shoe that many people (I think) would consider to be too feminine for a boy to wear... yeah?

Like I said, they are still available today, for boys in the pre-school age group. But because of the covered toe most people will only buy them for girls.

Bath - i dont' think i'd put those kind of sandals on either gender - not for any other reason than i think once you make it wearing sandals, i'd rather have sandals that breath (so the open ones) - but that's just my own taste. i find as long as my feet are cool and well supported, i'm comfy. i'm likely to look at well fitting shoes that let their feet breathe etc. i find, after having ankle surgery, that i either need good sandals (which are hard to find for big footed chickies) or well fitting runners (can't seem to find any other comfy shoes unless custom made boots which are damn exxy!)

as to the stuff with cartoon characters all over it - i tend to look for tasteful stuff - but sometimes, you just go with what the kids like! i don't like dora, barbie etc, but some of the barbie stuff at the moment is very discreet (can't tell it's barbie unless you go looking) - boys stuff - well, it's hard to find discreet! my bro's little boy (7 in a couple of weeks) is a shocker for wearing weather appropriate clothes, and the only way to convince him to wear stuff that is right for the weather is to have character stuff (Cars and Spiderman at the moment) and get him to wear that. it's usually loud but he loves it and at least he dresses for the weather which is more important. this is a kid that will leave his jumper on all day at school - even when it's 40 degrees!

[briggsy's girl]

Oh BG i wish i'd known! My Nanna makes the knits the most beautiful little baby cardigans. I have about 5 from when DS was a baby!

i only have one at the moment - a beautiful white one i was given for baby shower - mum has found a pattern she is thinking about making one with a matching blanket for Gremlin's baptism.

i don't know why i love them so much (maybe cos i used to sit and watch my nan make these beatiful intricate cable jackets with her arthritic old hands!) - i just think that dressing a baby as a baby sometimes is really worth it - they grow up so quickly...

ooh, i lie - the local hospy sells little cardis to raise money for fundraising for neonates - mum bought a pink and an apricot one - i think the apricot one will only ever fit on dolls for Gremlin (it's tiny but so sweet!) but she does have a little pink one as well

[Toomanytoomany]

I'm constantly disappointed that the generic fashion is lots of brown, grey, royal or pale blue, navy.

I've got five girls, so when this one turned out to be a boy, I wondered how much fun I might have going and buying "boy clothes". I've always loathed that little girls' "fashion" has always been so stereotyped. I thought there might be more freedom in the boys' sections.

How wrong I was! A sea of dull colours, with "boy" motifs, a preponderance of blue with the odd splash of red or whatever... I became quite depressed after a while. It felt like boys' clothing was even more constrained than girls' clothing. I'd already been getting a lot of comments about What Boys Are Like, and I felt quite defensive that this little mite should turn out the way he *wants* minus pressure from everyone else.

I live in a community that is extremely gay friendly and has a lot of transgender people and it is always so foreign to me to hear the comments of almost fear, I guess, when people contemplate their kids wearing clothing that isn't appropriate for their gender, but that fear doesn't seem to move so close to something like disgust or anger as when it is about little boys wearing dresses or skirts or whatever. I don't understand what people think it says about a son who might like to wear "girlie" clothing, although I should since my 11 year old is constantly called a "tomboy" because she doesn't like girlie clothing.

It's not just the clothes, either - it's the toys. I had a friend once whose husband *refused* to let their ds play with any "girls' toys" like kitchen stuff or dolls. He sincerely saw it as a threat to his son's masculinity.

It's like this pressure right from the moment they are born to tell them, "This is how you will behave. This is who you are. You cannot escape it and we will remind you at every turn."

I do wonder what would happen if I had a son who lived in a family who expressed horror at the idea of a son being dressed in "girlie" clothes who felt drawn towards them naturally, and how he would respond to that kind of pressure to deny that part of himself. I imagine it would be so much worse than my dd being called a "tomboy" because at least there's some kind of patronising acceptance of a girl who doesn't act like a "proper" girl.

[morgan78]

Its funny as I was only thinking this morning how "ordinary" boys clothes are at the moment. Im trying to buy DS winter gear and it is sooooooo boring, everything seems to have some cartoon character on it or is blue or green. I love seeing him in bright colours and was so sad to discover he has outgrown his yellow and red shirts. DS loves dressing up in my stuff and currently has nail polish on both of his big toes, he wanted it I dont see why not.
Sandals, i love them and DS always has at least one pair.
In response to the questions
Inappropriate clothing for me is when "fashion" tries to put adult styled clothes on children. I would class red as a masculine colour, but i have no problems with DS wearing any colour he wants and he has had clothes in just about every colour including pink and the same goes for DD as well, though i am trying to increase the black atm.
If DS wants to wear dresses and pink then thats fine with me but as Brontide said I would let him know that some people might find it unusual.
Stores generally appear to be limiting in choice especially this year, there seems to be too much focus on supplying items with Thomas, Ben 10, Bob the Builder and the list goes on, but then again if the consumers didnt buy them they wouldnt stock so much of them.

[HotI]

When we were little, Mum had all us kids in nighties (boys and girls). It was easier to do nappy changes. All of us wore tights during winter (as little ones) because it kept us warm. We all wore sandles, but navy or white were girl sandles and brown were boys sandles.

I do a lot of sewing for friends baby's and try to use gender neutral colours (not always easy). Some friends i know will dress either gender in purple (or another colour with purple), but others would not go purple for a boy.

It is not always to easy to buy clothes or toys if you are trying to avoid characters or trademarks (disney etc), but i always try to.

The majority of my clothes have come from the mens section, because i find them more comfortable.

[paradise lost]

I don't have any boys but when i do they will be wearing exactly what DD wore because i'm not going out and buying a whole new set of everything exactly the same but in a different colour. She has some pink things (hand-me-downs from other people) but i'm a lazy washer so a lot of them end up different colours anyway She's old enough to choose what she wears now and we have days when she's a cowboy and days when she's a bride (wearing her flowergirl dress, usually over jeans as it is freezin here!). We were very excited recently to find a website doing next-gen costumes in her size as she loves all things trek.

I don't see the issue with what one dresses a baby in. I mean, i know a 3 month old can't choose for themself if they want to wear a frilly frock but they can't choose ANYTHING - if you only did what they expressly agreed to mine would have sat in a corner in her own poo and starved to death! She didn't like having her nappy changed, but i did it, she didn't like being offered food if she was "busy" doing something else but i still did.

There have been several tragic cases of boys who throgh accident lost their genitalia in early infancy being raised as girls and it doesn't work, they grew up thinking they were trnasgender (because they were told they were female but they felt male). If genital reassignment and a lifetime of dedicated social conditioning can't make a girl into a boy or vice versa, how could a dress or toy?

It's also very interesting to me how weak the state of masculinity is seen to be. The inference that a dress or doll could emasculate a boy, when jeans or a toy workbench cannot similarly destroy the femininity of a girl is fascinating. Also fasciating is the assigned roles - i have had a father tell me he will NEVER let his son play with a baby buggy or dolly because those are "for girls" WHILE pushing his own baby daughter along in her buggy...erm, hello? What are you then? Mr mummy? Don't men cook? Hold their babies? Vacuum (alright, mine doesn't do that much! lol)?

Bx

[ubba82]

I had a DD first then a DS. I dressed them both in nighties for bed and during the day they wore a bonds suit with a knitted cardie/jumper and knitted booties. When I have another baby it will be dressed the same.

Now, my DS (3) wears sandals (I never knew anyone had a 'problem' with them) and wears 'boys' clothes - jeans, tshirts, jumpers, socks and shoes all from the boys department. He does LOVE Dora and has a pink Dora bag for kinder and thats ok with me.

DD (7) wears all girl clothes. Shes getting into fashion at the moment and loves Hannah Montana, HSM and The Veronicas. Because of these fashions, she does have a top that has a skull on it and that is fine.

I would rather my kids wear gender specific clothes to save them from being teased. DD makes her own choices on her clothes (within reason) and DS can make his own choices too when he is older. Mostly he chooses clothes with a bike or car on it anyway.

As for the 'dressing bubs in black' - I saw a Bonds suit that was all black. Personally I wouldnt dress my newborn in black. Dont know why, just doesnt do it for me!

PS- Cool Thread.

[boobaloo]

i have no issues whatsover with clothing, but at the moment, my 2 yo son has his finger and toe nails painted red.