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Thread: Fear of Death...

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2003

    Default Fear of Death...

    I'm not quite sure what to do! Paris and I are very very close emotionally, I know that sounds like a strange thing to say but its very true. She is an emotionally aware person as am I and thats the core (I think) of everything we do and our reactions too. Anyway just recently I have noticed a change in her, she is starting to become afraid of death and/or seperation. By that I mean if she sees a child thats crying on tv or in a picture she automatically says "They are sad because they want their mummy back" And the same thing if its a woman crying "She's crying because she wants her little girl back" etc etc A few nights ago I was reading her a story about a little girl who is naughty and has a visit from an angel to help her learn to be good. Anyway after I had finished reading the story she said to me "Mummy I don't want you to ever be an angel you have to stay with me forever" And had a quivering lip, I said to her not to worry and that I wasn't going anywhere (I worried later that this might have been the wrong thing to say). Then she told me I wasn't allowed to be a little girl again either because then she would be sad and want her mummy back. This isn't the first time this sort of thing has come up, before she's told me things like "When I was an angel mummy I missed you becuase I wanted you to be an angel with me, so I became paris so I could be your little girl" (weird I know, especially considering we aren't a religious family she has no concept of god or heaven or anything similar). Well tonight it all came to a head she asked me out of the blue if I had a song for her (I thought it was a strange thing to ask) and I asked her what she meant and she said "Do you have a song you like to sing about me?" I told her that I had a song for her "Gorecki" and "Gabriel" (both by lamb) for Seth. So when we got home she asked if she could listen. So I put on Gorecki and the first line was "If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear" Well that was it she burst into tears told me she didn't want me to die and wouldn't stop sobbing for ages. I comforted her as best I could and said that I probably won't die till I'm really old and I'll be here for her and not to worry. I was completley torn from the inside out. What do you say to that? How do you deal with that? And is this much awareness not slightly abnormal for a child so young? I know I didn't even grasp the concept of death till I was probably about 12 and I had been to a funeral at 7 so I certainly wasn't sheltered in any way. Its amazing and beautiful and sad and scary all at the same time. I should mention that when I say she's an emotional little girl, she is also very sensitive but emotionally mature for her age.

    Has anyone else had this? And how did you deal with it?


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2005


    Hi Cailin

    What tour child is going through is not unusual. It is oftem related to something that the child has read, seen, heard, or perhaps even a dream And because of there little experience of life there mind often interprets things in ways that adults could never know. You guys are obviously very close so the fear of seperation will be stronger. I think that the best thing to do would be to continue to reassure her that you two will never be seperated.

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