Fighting in front of kids

[misty]

I think it depends on:
a) what you are fighting about. Some topics should not be brought up in front of the kids, including if you are having a disagreement about your parenting methods.
b) how you are fighting. It is not OK to let them see you both hurl abuse at each other.
c) Whether you let them see you make up again too. I think this is important. You need to be a role model and show them that just because you fight, doesn't mean you don't love each other, or won't treat each other with respect. They need to see the both of you being able to say sorry and be 'friends' again.

I don't think it is good for children to constantly be exposed to fighting, but at the same time I don't think it is healthy for them to never see it either; otherwise they don't know how to deal with it when it does happen or when they are in a position where they are fighting with someone else.

[Rouge]

I think it depends on:
a) what you are fighting about. Some topics should not be brought up in front of the kids, including if you are having a disagreement about your parenting methods.

Couldn't agree more. Too many people think their children are too little to understand. I think whether you are on the phone or in earshot or in front of them you need to be conscious about what your children can hear. I have memories of conversations I was too little to understand them, but as I got older I remembered and it wasn't pleasant. My philosophy is if your child understands basic commands then you apply this then. Not only does it get you into good practice but you aren't going to know when exactly they go from not understanding to understanding.

[~Hestia~]

I don't think it is good for children to constantly be exposed to fighting, but at the same time I don't think it is healthy for them to never see it either; otherwise they don't know how to deal with it when it does happen or when they are in a position where they are fighting with someone else.

Couldn't agree more. According to DH his parents NEVER argued. He has always said that fighting has no place in a happy loving relationship, his parents managed to never argue so it must be doable. However, his parents divorced when he was 15!
I have been with him for 6 years & I cannot get him to see that a) they must've argued at some point & b) if they did in fact never argue, perhaps this lack of communication had something to do with their relationship breaking down. I do realise they had other issues, but YKWIM?
It has affected him as an adult in that he cannot argue, he hates it & isn't very good at it. If we so much as disagree he thinks one of us is leaving. It's very frustrating!
So I believe children should see that while we don't always agree, this is how we work through issues sensibly. Name calling & viciousness is another matter. I always feel awful if we've REALLY argued in front of DS.