Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers

[Lucy]

Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers From Dr Phil

If you are stressed, mentally exhausted and out of balance, you aren't being fair to yourself or your family. You'll be a happier person — not to mention a better wife, mother and friend — once you stop putting your own needs last. Dr. Phil has advice for making yourself a priority.

1. Get over the guilt.

Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.

Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.

A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.

Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.

2. Make yourself a priority.

Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love.

Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves.

Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.

3. Discover your passions.

Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?

Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?"

When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.

4. Gain the support of your family.

This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for yourself — so you can be a better mom and wife.

Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.

[Lulu]

This is great Lucy, I'm going to print this off and refer to it often as I am always trying to promote this theory at work.
Women always tend to leave themselves last.

[Adnil]

great lucy,

dont you just love Dr Phil

Linda

[Ambah]

Thanks for that Lucy, that is great!

[{sarah}]

Thanks Lucy. Now let's just see if I can put it into practice

[nellbe]

This is so fantastic Lucy - thanks so much

[Antheia]

Thanks Lucy!

[Lucy]

No problem guys.

I realised I needed to take heed of Dr Phils wise words when I realised that I felt guilty at even having a shower...............how bad is that?????!

Anyway, I am planning on taking my "passion" for cooking out of the house and I am signed up for a cooking course at our WEA centre..............

Plus, on Monday night just gone, I went out to dinner with girlfirends & left DH at home with Charlie and Olivia. He was totally happy to take care of everything......to the point where I realised I had absolutely no need to feel guilty at all. (And I had a great night.)

[nellbe]

BUMP

moving to parenting....

[Jennifer13]

Go Dr Phil!! One day, I'm sure I'll get to put this into practice! I don't feel at all guilty about taking time out, just don't seem to do it... Will probably change when I stop being her only source of food!

[Lea13]

Go Dr Phil... just what I needed to read!!

I've left Emerson with my parents for a few hours for no other reason then I wanted some ME time... and I was feeling as guilty as sin about it.

Feeling a little bit better now though! Thanks Lucy!

[melly]

thanks so much i'm going to use that and pass it on to a friend

[Lucy]

I am glad this post has been resurrected.....thanks Nell! It has reminded me to not feel any guilt....

I only have a few short weeks before B3 arrives, so am madly booking myself in for things that I love that are just for me...........dinner with girl-friends, scrap and yap nights with my SIL at her house, a Body Shop at Home party....a swim, a pedicure, a manicure.............

[Lea13]

Ohhhh Lucy - scrap and yap nights sound great .

[Lucy]

Our srap and yap nights are the best.....my lovely SIL is also one of my best friends and we gab our hearts out, admire our gorgeous kids via photos whilst they are all ASLEEP, drink mineral water (would be wine but we are both pg!) and eat snacks......total bliss......

[EllyBoo72]

Ohh Lucy, IKWYM about feeling guilty having a shower!!! I feel so bad spending 20min on myself every morning. Even feel guilty having Breakkie at 11am, whilst the little guy is hanging off my leg for my attention!!!