Hi all;
So I really really need to vent and some advice would be nice too!

its all about the in-laws.

This all started the other week when I made comment to DH that I am tired of the fact that we always make arrangements with his folks. We always ask them out to do stuff, we always include them in the things we are doing and not once do they turn around and do the same to us. On top of that, when they moved away from us, we got guilted into moving closer to them, then once we do and things arent turning out right job wise, we move away and the guilt starts again. So we move back and they havent even made an effort to include us in their lives!

Anyhow DH responds by saying well this is what has always been done, all parents take the kids to the grandparent houses, where we all sit, kids included and chat , they have afternoon tea, then everyone goes home....

I just cant stand this, everyone sits and stares at the girls, makes comments about them like they are animals on show, its boring for me, let alone the girls. Miss M hides behinds us, she refuses to talk, and Miss H ends up in tears over people starting at her. Its just terrible.

Then on top of all this they complain that we havent kept them up to date with photos. They live 10kms away, we bought them a digital camera to use, they can take pics on their mobiles, well they do of everything else in this world, just not their grandkids. And Im the horrible person for not giving them photos.

Back to the first thing. During our conversation, I said to DH that it would be really nice if they rang up on their day off, and said "we are thinking of getting a coffee, how about we get one for you too, and we meet you at the park?" we'll even bring our camera and get some nice photos of the girls too!'
The next time DH talks to his mum he tells her how nice it would be to get a coffee and go to the park with them one day. The following day we get a phone call from MIL who says, "if you guys go to the park today, could you let us know?"

So in the end, I ended up organising it all, again. No independent thinking.

So they havent seen the girls in weeks and weeks, but the other day MIL says to DH that if want to go out sometime she'll babysit.... The problem is she doesnt even truely know the girls; she knows what they look like but doesnt have a real relationship with them.

Im so over being the one who organises everything for them to see the girls; but I dont like their expectations of what will happen, I want the girls to look forward to going to their GPs house rather than hating it because of how boring and intimidating it is.

I just dont know what to do anymore, I am holding so much remorse towards them for the expectations they have on us, yet they dont seem like they are prepared to reach out to us and offer anything real.

Im so over it all, and really this is just the top of the whole crap, but I need some other perspectives I think.

Sorry this is rather long, thanks for reading if you got this far,

Justine