How to act 'fake' with inlaws when you really don't like them?

[MummyNaomi]

Mine have annoyed the hell out of me ever since we got pregnant back in 2008, full of stupid 'advice' and I realised how much they gossip about everyone in the family. DH and his brother had some real issues a few years ago and it suddenly become very obvious that MIL was telling each of them negative things that would make each brother annoyed/jealous at each other. They really lack social etiquette, are very judgmental and the have no respect for the privacy of others (eg despite our requests to keep our pregnancy announcement secret MILs best friend 'found' out we were pregnant). I am 100% certain that the negative things they gossiped about BIL & SIL were exaggerated (and that they would probably be saying the same negative things about us to other family members)

Anyway, I really don't start or contribute much to conversations anymore, funnily enough they are so busy gossiping about others or retelling the same old boring-as-hell story for the 20th time they don't notice that I am not contributing. I have learnt to tell them nothing. If they ask about my family or my friends, I simply tell them everything/everyone is fine.

If we have them over here, I busy myself in the kitchen cooking a meal etc or if there is a big family group, I am usually the one watching the children. Christmas Day was like this - everyone sat around drinking outside while the kids roamed inside. As I was not comfortable with DS (aged 2) roaming around a strange house, I stuck with him (more enjoyable than listening to the same old stories for the 21st time )

I think its a case of grin and bare it. I have how ever put my MIL back in her place a few times with her ridiculously stupid parenting advice However I keep the peace out of respect for my DH, and despite their many flaws they love their grandson

[trishalishous]

I grin and bear it. 11 years and counting :/

[skybie]

Yep i put on the smile and pretend, some days i cbfed though and i just dont try, pretty sure its obvious
but mostly i pretend for DF's sake.
i avoid them at all costs, have only seen them once this year for DF's birthday. but i guess being very pregnant is a good excuse not to sit in the car for half an hour to see them

[MummyNaomi]

I grin and bear it. 11 years and counting :/

OMIGOD - Babe you deserve a medal!! Impressive!! I am thinking at some point I will just be over them and not bother any more ............

[Lolpigs]

My step MIL is the same Jan. Most of the time I just let her wash over me unless she tries to actually do something with DD, me or DH then I politey disagree and leave it at that. Same with FIL.

I dont think you should bow down to anything they say, but keeping the peace is easier as you go along seeing as you mostly ignore everything they say!

Othertimes I just grin and bear it. about the same amount of time as trish LOL

[fromscratch]

I grin and bear them as well. 14 years and counting.

I'll put it this way. This woman is a piece of work. I can't stand her and almost didn't marry dh because of who she is and how intefering she is. Holy Moo Moo, She's a nasty piece of work.

Dh thought her behaviour was in my head as she never behaved badly in front of him till we sat down with BIL and his live in GF at the time and she said no not in my head she does the same stuff with her.
Since then dh deliberatly keeps his distance now.....
I just tell her how it is now. I've had enough of her and her bad behaviour, nasty, vindictive, destructive behaviour and I'm tired of being on the recieving end of it.
I'm firm but polite. wink! For the most part she leaves me alone now thank goodness as I nolonger have back up in BIL's GF. he's gay.