This is a difficult one for us as all our family lives in another country. However my sister and I have agreed that if anything should happen to either of us, we would take each others children. I know if anything happened to my sister and BIL that my mum would expect custody of her children as they are very close, but as my sister pointed out my mum is a smoker and that is not a situation she could put her children into. Ditto for me if something happened to DH and I, his mum is very old and my mum is a smoker. My brother is living the single life and DH's siblings are not the sort of people we would want our children with as a first choice, so it would have to be my sister.
i too have been thinking about this lately and i honestly dont kow how you would chose someone besides parenting style, age and finacial security.
i instinctivly would like my sister but she is single, about to graduate uni and has just moved interstate ( thats a whole other subject!) but before she moved cared for DS more than DH and i know has the same parenting ideals etc. BUT i also know that she has no finacial security and would struggle emotionally with whatever situation would cause kids to come into her care as well as everything that comes with full time care of kids. that being said i wouldnt choose my mum for emotional reasons going back to when i was a kid (and also her partner's personality and parenting style) and i wouldnt choose MIL & FIL or my dad and his partner for similar reasons. which leaves us with BIL & SIL who are good with their parenting style, age, kids similar ages to ours, financially secure but are strongly christian where we are atheist.
GL with your decision hun. its definately a hard one!!!!!!!!
DH has no siblings and all our parents are 60+ so the only logical guardian is my sister and BIL. But they have 3 kids of their own and I honestly don't know how they would cope with suddenly having 5 children.
I was also torn between my brother and his wife, and my sister (DH's family live interstate/overseas and were never an option). We chose my brother and SIL because they have stability, financial security (although they'd get our money it was important to us that having our children wouldn't be a burden) and the same values as us. I know they would raise our children in a manner consistent with DH and I. Not to say my sister wouldn't but I believe she would struggle emotionally (she suffered from depression and borderline personality disorder when younger and sometimes lacks coping skills without support. My parents are 60+ so not sure how much assistance they could provide her). Having said that though, my whole family would be involved in the children's lives and I'd be upset if that wasn't the case.
It's such a hard decision, hope you can reach one soon xx
We have chosen based on many things. Similar parenting, an actual love for our children, age/health, locality and the means to look after them. DH was still quite set on his mother being guardian for ages, but has at least gone with my suggestion as long as we give MIL first right of refusal.
Seeing as MIL is aging and been ill in the past 2 years, I am hoping she has the sense to refuse direct guardianship, but chooses to stay involved as Grandma. It is not only her health I have an issue with, but her parenting and she is a major technophobe. I could see the poor kids having to go through highschool with no computers or Internet, as MIL would not see the need I would much rather her just stay as Grandma and not become parent.
we went through this recently when we did our wills, i don't speak to my family after a fallout 2 years ago and my inlaws aren't an option and neither are our siblings on either side so we were really stuck. the solicitor asked if my parents would fight for the kids if something happened to us and i said definitely and she basically said well you might as well leave them to them then because in all likely hood they would get them and if its written down at least it would happen straight away and there wouldn't be fighting from the rest of the family.
i know my mum would be happy to take them but she isn't young and the reality is if she wasn't around dad wouldn't cope with them so i figure we have the next 5 years where they could go to mum and then we will have to change our wills and i have no idea what we will happen then, i just have to remind myself its unlikely something will happen to both of us and that this will ever need to be put in place
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thats a whole other subject!) but before she moved cared for DS more than DH and i know has the same parenting ideals etc. BUT i also know that she has no finacial security and would struggle emotionally with whatever situation would cause kids to come into her care as well as everything that comes with full time care of kids. that being said i wouldnt choose my mum for emotional reasons going back to when i was a kid (and also her partner's personality and parenting style) and i wouldnt choose MIL & FIL or my dad and his partner for similar reasons. which leaves us with BIL & SIL who are good with their parenting style, age, kids similar ages to ours, financially secure but are strongly christian where we are atheist. 
I would much rather her just stay as Grandma and not become parent.
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