We are planning 3 kids (I am on pregnancy number 2 at the moment) and are planning the gaps based on my own experience. I was one of 3 and there are 3.5 years between me and my sister and another 2.5 years between her and my brother. I decided at a fairly young age that I wanted my kids closer together than that because I always wished my siblings were not so much younger and that we were going through the same things together. Being the eldest by what I consider to be a fairly large gap, I often felt the pressure of being the trailblazer (ie the first one to do things, push the boundaries etc etc). I think they feel the same way, none of us were ever at the same stage in our lives.

I find even now that I am in my 30s that the gap has still not been bridged because we are all at different stages of our lives. I am always a bit jealous of people who have siblings closer together. Because my siblings aren't at the point of having kids yet, I am also very aware that my kids will be much older than their cousins. (I only have 4 cousins who are all much younger than me, which I think added to my feeling of being isolated as the oldest growing up). My siblings and I do get along well though.

There will be 2 years between my first 2 children and we are aiming for about the same (ie 18 months to 2 years) between number 2 and 3. We know it will be difficult for a few years but for want of a better way of putting it, we think of it as short term pain for long term gain. We believe it will suit our kids better to be closer in age and it suits us too - I am a SAHM and we have decided that these are the "baby years" but from my own point of view I do miss work and want to minimise my time out of the workforce. When my youngest goes to school, I will go back to work and the next stage of our lives will commence.

Something my mum pointed out also stuck with me - from when I was a baby to when my brother finally went to school totalled 11 years of having little kids around. That is too long for me personally.

I am not sure whether a certain age gap guarantees a better relationship between siblings - I think it comes down to personalities in the end.