how do you handle friends who lie?

[surprised]

Maybe she actually has a psychological problem and hates what she does? Maybe she'd actually love to get some help. No idea how on earth you'd bring it up though?

Guess you could say next time "oh but that's not what you said last week...is everything ok?"

Hard one.

[shellbell3]

I had a friend like that who I don't want anything to do with now. Was too much to deal with, couldn't believe a word out her mouth, she's still going convincing evveryione she is royalty at the moment.
Also a guy I was dating earlier this year I've realised has lying/ exagerating probs. He sorta made up part of his life. With him we are still friends, I sorta just go along with it because I feel he may actually believe what hes saying and its not really affecting anyone.

[beansbeans!]

You know the saying - never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Well that's my brother.

Lenny, Im usre this friend lives by the same mantra!

Thank you everyone!

She is a great friend who when shes around you can have a great laugh with. But the constant lies are having a draining affect on me. I waiver at having her in my home because it changes the feel of my house. A lot of the time her stories are social climbing, and I dont really mind those because well I couldnt care less about social climbing, Im not one to really care as to who knows who, who has contacts where etc. Then there are the lies about her relationship problems which dont exist and the list goes on. She pretends to have issues with her family, to the point of her not having a relationship with anyone in her family, then the next day they are off on a vacation together with her saying how much she loves her family and spending time with them. The list really does go on.

Her lies are harmless, but they are draining. She is a good laugh, and we do take her stories lightly and what not.

Thank you

[LionsandBears]

I dont have the time or energy for liars. A white lie here and there isnt much, but I have enough dealing with my reality without trying to understand someone's made up life. I see it as a form of trolling, which is behaviour I despise. I know of people who have made up relationship problems or babyloss to gain sympathy. I have no tolerance for that kind of leech.

I'm pretty black & white when it comes to trusting my friends though.

[~Kaz~]

I deal with liars and manipulators at work. I do not put up with any hint of this kind of behaviour in my personal life. Whether I see it as harmless entertainment or something more hurtful/harmful I just don't have the energy. I see it as a form of emotional manipulation tbh and even if the person wasn't fully aware they were embellishing etc, I would find it impossible to trust them to any real degree so there would be no basis for friendship itms.

Each to their own. It's an interesting question in terms of where each individuals boundaries are.

ETA - in terms of how I have handled it, I have just not let the relationship progress from acquaintence to friend and/or slowly backed away and gradually ceased contact without making any kind of fuss.
Sent from my phone.

[beckoes]

Years ago i was actually in a relationship with a guy who just lied about everything!!! unfortunately i didn't realise till we had been together for three years! basically he was so incredibly insecure about himself and tried to create a life that people would find interesting that he spun this huge web of lies and stories and it all fell apart cause he was sending him self mental (and i don't mean figuratively speaking) . i felt really sorry for him, but that was the end of the relationship. i think it says alot about your friend, she obviously feels the need to lie for some reason.
i dont know how you could deal with it, once she knows you know she lies alot she could be really embarrassed and that would affect your friendship, or it could be a huge relief for her!?
good luck

[peanutter]

We did an intervention.

It did not end well.

I was incredibly hurt to end the friendship, but it had to happen - I couldn't continue to put myself in that situation. They were not harmless lies.


Other friendships where they're harmless, I sometimes pull people up on it, I sometimes ignore it and move on, but as I get older I do find myself pulling back from friendships with people more prone to being dishonest. Truth is crucial to me. Exaggeration or getting carried away is one thing, lying is another.