I found it really hard when we had #4, and that was going to be our last. Dh was definitely done, I felt that maybe I could handle another one, and that turned into a secret yearning that I never really confessed to.

Fate took it out of our hands and we had an unintentional pregnancy. Dh actually handled it really well, and we were both very excited by the time she came, even though it was a really tough time for us to be having another child. He said to me later that he still had this niggling feeling that he never wanted to admit that he wanted another child.

We were both totally done when we found out we were having Mr T - that was a huge shock to both of us. Bizarrely, having Mr T re-awakened my baby lust. I was terrified when dh went to have the snip that I'd be utterly grief stricken. Strangely though, once he had the snip and it was no longer an option, that longing just disappeared.

I know that's not much help to you and I'm just rambling!

What I will say is that, for now, your dh is done. Okay, for now, he is. You won't be having another baby just yet. But given time, he may soften. It may not be a forever thing. And even if things don't change with your dh, you may be more at peace with it all as time goes by.

The way he behaves though is a separate issue - if he were being kind to you and trying to live up to his promises, that would be one thing, but he's not. I suspect that quite apart from the baby issue, his unwillingness to support you in your dreams and aspirations *full stop* is an issue that you probably both need to work on. I feel for you, I really do.