find a hobby/exercise thing that has a creche.

i found a community health centre near me, they ran WOmen's Craft class on a morning, and they had a onsite FREE creche. that was the only thing i could access.

Other people go to a gym where there is a gym. I've heard of kid's swim schools where there is a creche, so you put ONE of your kids in the creche, so you can take the other one in their class. (for your toddler maybe).

really depends where your interests lie.

And finding places where your kids ARE welcome.
mother's group
playgroups
ABA meetings
etc

but it is good to have some adult time. i had zero family support so i had to create my own "me" time. Even if i did NO CRAFT in that two hours, just having other adults around for company, was a win for me. And i knew my child was only 10 metres away, and that the workers would come get me if needed. so i could relax about my child being safe.

takes a bit of time, sourcing what is in your locality, but worth doing.

everyone has different needs, i came to the conclusion "one outing per day" was plenty for us. anymore, it just all ended in tears. for others, four outings in one day was fine. we're all different.

and having at least one HOME day is a must for us. Otherwise, all that being out, and you come home to lots of housework. even housework needs some attention, i cna't schedule it exactly, but i now give it more respect (like it doesn't just magically get done when i'm home, cos you can come home exhausted, and just hte night time routine, and a child who doesn't want to sleep, can leave you with "oh, it's 10.30, i finally have time to do housework, and i am so stuffed, i can't". so build in some wriggle room, room to stay home, let the kids get bored, that's how their imagination grows. (i used to think i had to entertain bilby ALL the time). now i realise, she relishes the "down" time, with nothing scheduled.

ADDED
Whoa, i clearly had not read the sentence about "going to the gym 5x a week" before i did my post.