I'm struggling and just need some understanding

[*becstar*]

I'll be 28 this year Our plan was to be done by 30.

It's the oops thing that gets me!! I have an IUD in....so given it's working well any oops isn't going to have a good result anyway. I got it because I knew that if I was on the pill or depo I'd just not take it or not get it done....as much as that's what I want I couldn't do that to DH. It's his life and his family and his decision too.

My first wasn't really an oops, we led family to believe he was but he wasn't (shhh!). DD was an oops, purely from our own stupidity but that was OUR stupidity together. My baby took me 12 months to get. Because our first two were so close I wanted my kids to be fairly close in age, so in that line of thinking we'd need to get cracking, lol.

Ah welll it's not to be......I just want him to understand that it's not that simple for me. I need to give it time and work through it.

[ubba82]

I have spoken to my mum about this. She is 50 and wouls still like another child. She said it is never going to happen, but that feeling never goes away.

[Liz]

I had a similar thread about my biological urge and whether it ever goes away.

I still hold on to shreds of hope that DH will come around. It hurts me too much to think that this is it So until his definite no becomes an adamant no, I still talk about 'next time'.

Usually when I have a bad day with the kids or something he throws it back at me that I'd never cope with 3, so we're definitely not having another one.. other times I almost get the feeling he's entertaining the idea of 3. So I have highs and lows at the moment.

But I totally understand how you're feeling, and I think if you explain it to him the way you have here about needing to grieve the fact that there's no more babies he might understand a bit more. Try and talk to him when it's not O time tho! I think they need to understand that we have that biological urge & desire, and it's not an easy thing to overcome.

*hugs* to you.