Dinky,
I dont know if this will help or not... But here is my experience....
My Dads parents were snobby, nothing nice to say & extremely bossy, not only to Mum but also to us... They came over ever Saturday from 3 til 4:30, this was their routine there were 5 grandkids (us 3 girls) & Dads brother had 2 kids (a boy & a girl) they were bossy to all of us. As we got older we were kinda told by Dad that we HAD to be home when they visited, yet they'd walk in the door & us 3 would say Hi & they'd hand over a mars bar & we'd go outside they were not interested in anything we did, no kicking a footy, or watching any sports any of us played etc, they'd leave at 4:30 & not come outside to say goodbye!
In the end we would argue with Dad & not wan to be home to see them, we prefered to go visit our friends etc..
I can recall Mum & Dad going to a wedding & my Grandma & Grandpa were baby sitting us & had bought these 3 matching lacey, frilly dress's & wanted us to put them on so they could take photo's to send to relo's Overseas!!! I dont do dress's EVER!!!! So I argued (I was 8) I was wearing my denim overalls with a Kiss T-shirt & she wanted me in the dress, I said "No, I didnt like it & didnt want to wear the dress, I wanted to go to the park" So I walked to the park which was about 4 houses away... Well she strutted down & pulled me by the hair all the way back to their house & dragged me up the 12 or so concrete steps & locked me in their attic where I was not given anything, I looked at my sisters in their ugly dress's having their pictures taken & was glad to be stuck in the attic!
I can remember hearing Mum & Dad pull up a few hours later to collect us & they let me out, so Mum & Dad wouldnt know!!!
I did tell & they never babysat us even fopr 5 mins after that!

Mum then told Dad we didnt have to be home to see them & we rarely visited as you were not allowed to do anything!!!
My Grandma passed away about 12 yrs ago now & I really cannot recall anything remotely nice or endearing about her! My Mum's Mum passed away about 6 yrs ago & I adored her she had 11 babies 2 of whom passed away at birth, My Mum's Mum & Dad had nothing but my Nan always volunteered at the local Op Shop, she gave so much to everyone & weould kiss us & cuddle us & tell us she loved us although there were about 60 grandkids & great grandkids she took ti9me to know them/us all!
At her funeral Maddy & I placed a big pair of Fairy wings on her casket coz she was extremely ill & would tell me she wanted to fly in the sky with the angels!!! I have not a bad memory of this Woman whom I adored & still do...
Mum's Dad is also a gorgeous man that although depressed since Losing his beloved wife, will still hug & kiss all of his kids, grandkids & greatgradkids!!!

I started to resent my Mum & DFad for making us be polite & respectful to these rather nasty, cruel & mean grandparents that to me should love their grandkids indefinately!!!

My Dads Dad told me my hair was too bleached & I looked like a fat hippo & was rather embarassing to his family at my Older sisters Wedding!!! I was a bridesmaid & my Grndfather said that to me!!! I was devastated, but in true fashion, gave him lip that I believd had been building up since I was a kid.. Dad was hurt about how I had spoken to his Father, but I think he was more hurt that his Father had spoken like that to his daughter (I am extremely close to my Daddy!)....
Ok, so I started rambling (Maybe I needed to vent that) but Dinky dont force your kids they will resent it later on....

Best of luck!!!