Losing trust

[Butterfly Dawn]

Yesterday Ds1 broke his pendant. Its worth about $200 to replace and he broke it by being silly but he has begged me not to tell DH- as DH is likely to go off the deep end
For cultural reasons the kids all have 1 and wear them. I have the $ to replace it, thats not the problem.
I feel Im between a rock and a hard place. If I dont tell DH and he finds out then I will lose his trust, if I tell him then I will loose DS trust and have ill feeling in the house for days.

What to do?

[Sunny Love]

I would tell my DP, but stress how DS didn't want him to know so to not say a word and I will take care of it.
It is disappointing on DS' behalf, but is it the end of the world? NO. Why? Because he's a child. Time for special talk between mummy, daddy and DS about learning to be careful and taking special care with our special things. It was an accident after all, but if there is a cultural value on the piece then a very simple (re-)explantation of its value might be necessary so DS can value the item just as much. There's no need for anyone to get upset, this a chance to learn about his heritage. Just tell DP that. xx

[Cherished]

Wise words from Sunny... I agree with all of what she said. It's a bit of a worry that our DH would be upset about it, as sunny said, your DS is a child after all. If your DH does get upset that is something that I would be addressing too.

[diannescruffy]

I agree with sunny but I would tell DS that daddy needs to know about what happened. All the best.

Regards,
Dianne

[Tinks]

I would tell DS that you won't lie for him, not because you don't love him etc but because he needs to take responsibility and that he needs to tell his father he broke the pendant. Before hand though, word your DH up so that he doesn't go off the deep end. Then the tow of them can work out some kind of way for him to work off the money it costs to replace it.

[BlackRose]

I agree with what Tinks said

[Butterfly Dawn]

Thanks ladies, some awesome advice.
Cherished- Your right, it is something that is a problem and is being addressed in the safest possible manner for our family, but with relatives aware of the situation.
Its something that will take time to sort out and is a very tricky thing in our situation- thank you for your concern

[AngelPants]

i would tell him that daddy needs to know but i am happy to help tell him, support him but its not right to lie to anyone if that makes sense? i hope it goes ok!