mother in-law

[poodleowner]

Hi i'm new to these forums so I hope this is the correct place to post this.
I have a 14week old baby and since he was born I have had nothing but trouble with my mother in-law, about 1 hour after Christian was born she came to the hospital and took him out from under the heat lamp without asking, before my partner even had a chance to hold him this caused his jaundice to become worse. We all ended up having a big argument when he was about 6 weeks old and I thought we had sorted everything out, I went back to work 2 weeks ago so she has had him 3 days so far, every one of these days he has come home unsettled, upset and his eczema has flared up. We have now found out she is doing things behind our back that we have specifically told her not to do. Would it be wrong of us to not let her babysit anymore. Christian is not like this when he is with my mum, partner or myself. All help-advice would be appreciated.

[nell75]

I wouldn't leave him there. Your baby deserves to be happy and so do you and it sounds like neither of you are under these conditions.

Is there anyone else who can look afetr him while you are working or would you consider child care??

[Astrolady]

Hi Nicole

I would definitely not be letting my child stay there if they are doing things you have told the specifically not to do. In my opinion they have had their chance and have blown it.

Christians health and well being is your top priority. I would be finding an alternative arrangement.

Love :smt049

[kazz30]

I would not allow my child to be going there either. She obviously cannot respect yours and your partners wishes. He is your child and you have the right to bring him up the way you see fit. As Nell said your baby deserves to be happy and so do you. O

We live with my mother in law and there has been a few times where she hasn't respected our wishes and I have gone off my nut!! She has finally worked it out that Nicholas is our child and what we say goes!!

Good luck in what you decide to do
Kazz & co \/
Nicholas 26/10/02

[BellyBelly]

poodleowner - how very frustrating for you . It is a very common problem though. I encourage you to read an article on the main website written by our psychologist, Danny Chable. It's in the post natal section and is called, "Where am I on the heirarchy?" which talks about grandparents that like to make their own decisions for you. Basically you have to stand your ground and tell them (nicely) that you are the parents of this baby and you need to make your own choices and decisions for your baby. I hope you have the strength to say something to her - I know it was very hard for me.

Good luck!

[Phteven]

oh dear.................... Has your DH talked to her at all? Maybe you should make it clear that if she ignores your requests she will spend less time with her grandchildren.
Good luck.
I can't help but to fear that in 6 or 7 months I will be in a very similar position. :mad:

[poodleowner]

Thank you all for your advice I am going to see how it goes on Tuesday and Wednesday and if there are any more problems we will be reorganising my work schedule.