:hug: LS
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:hug: LS
:hug: Lime.
I think I'm learning that unfortunately the whole thing of 'it gets easier' doesn't always ring true. That doesn't quite sound right, it has gotten easier in a lot of ways, but right now I feel like it's all really fresh again.
The 8th anniversary of Mum's death is this Friday. I can't believe how emotional I'm feeling right now, I don't think I've been this affected by it since the first couple of years. I'm sure it's compounded by the fact that I'm pregnant, but I don't even remember it being this bad when I was pregnant with DS.
I guess there has been a lot of stuff happen with our family this year (my step-father remarried, among other issues) that makes it all seem so final. For my Mum, I think she saw her family as her legacy and TBH we've done a **** job of maintaining that. Despite my efforts, I guess I feel like that with every year that goes by now, her mark on the world is fading more and more.
And it makes me so sad that she has never been able to spend time with DS, he's such a little man these days with such a bold personality, that her absence in his life stings more if that makes sense? And she has another grandchild who will soon make their way into the world and never have a relationship with her...
Sorry, I'm rambling. It just really hurts today. Thanks for listening.
:hug: Miss E.
I know what you mean about it not necessarily getting easier. It doesn't get better, you just become accustomed to the hole in your life.
I struggle with Christmas. Mum always made such an effort to make the day special. Her last Christmas was 1 week after diagnosis and 3 days after her first chemo treatment and she still put on the great meal she always did. It was the first Christmas MIL spent with us too, and Mum wanted it to be special for her because she'd never had a Christmas where she didn't have to pitch in (out of 7 siblings, she'd be the only one helping her own mum in the kitchen). I'm torn between wanting to honour her by continuing to make Christmas special and being angry with her for taking such good care of everyone else that she neglected her own health (Christmas is just a symbol of that).
Right now I'm struggling to cope with DD approaching terrible two's, always pushing and testing me and with pelvic girdle pain so I can't get her out of the house as much as we'd both like (and probably need). DD's birthday is in a few weeks and we have another girl due in the next 8 weeks or so. The 2 days I spent in hospital with DD, Mum visited and spent hours with DD sleeping on her chest (can't believe I didn't get any photos then!). Who's going to visit us if I stay in hospital again this time?
Mostly I just miss being able to pick up the phone for a chat.
Well looks like my sis and I will soon be joining you all on this vicious journey. I have no idea how to feel. The waiting sucks
I will also be fatherless so like a few of you I will have noone but my sis.
Kylz and Ashlee - sending you much strength and love. xxx
Thanks Mak
big :hug: hun....it's a horrible road, one unfortunately, we've all had to take sooner rather than later :(
and yep, i do know exactly how are feeling with regards to not having Dad either :hug: - you know where to find me if you need to vent :hug:
Your message helped alot Neg. even If you thought it wouldn't. It's the waiting and not knowing.
i know hun, and yep, the unknown is horrible :hug: - glad i could be a small help...:
:hug: I'm sorry it's not fair.
The waiting really does suck more :hug:
My brother called me to ask me to check mum's jewellery. He suspects an ex-friend of his may have helped himself. He's particularly concerned about the bracelet he and I gave mum for her 40th birthday (her first birthday in Adelaide without dad) :(
Oh TC how horrible. Was anything taken?
Yep the bracelet is gone. So is her engagement ring, a diamond and sapphire ring and there was another empty box that I think had earrings in it.
Oh no thats despicable. How could someone do that. Im sorry
Oh TC - how terrible :( - what a low life to steal those precious sentimental items of your Mums :hug:
TC I'm so sorry, i know how important those things were to you :hug:
So i've been feeling down & really missing my Mum lately....
I figured out it's because Mothers Day is coming up, I really really hate this. It sucks :(
:hug: Cheshire. Me too :(
I'm annoyed with my aunt (mum's sister) that she is taking Mumma out for lunch and hasn't invited my brother or I. My bro and I always did lunch with Mum and Mumma. Aunt lives in Melbourne and is flying over for the occasion, but she insists on going to a fancy hotel because she didn't like Mumma's local last year. So that means she can't afford to pay for all of us - not that we expect her to. I wouldn't mind so much if she had ever spent a Mother's day with Mumma before Mum died. She better not hijack Mumma's birthday in June as well.
Bro and I are working on recovering Mum's jewellery. Dad's wedding ring is gone too. My brother is giving his mate a chance to tell us what he did with it, if not he'll file a police report and hope that that will scare him into admitting it. We just want it back, even if we have to pay for it. I've been hunting through photos to take to pawn shops. I did find a video in which Mum's voice can be heard so that's a nice keepsake that I didn't know we had.
Well here I am :( mum passed peacefully on Monday night after just a short 5 month battle with liver cancer :( I think I must still be in shock because I'm not really upset. I got to say goodbye and told her it was ok to go on Monday morning. As horrible as it sounds I wish I hadn't gone back on Monday night cause now I see that sight of her of the gorgeous sight I had from the morning.
I know it is probably going to hit me like a tonne of bricks on Monday at the funeral. Thanks for all your support ladies
Kylz i'm so sorry your here :hug:
TC i hope you find them or get them back & that is so unfair and rude of your Aunt.
Hope you get to so something special for her Birthday in June :hug:
sending lots more of these hun :hug::hug::hug: here if you need anything x:
Sent using my SamGal ;)
Thanks Ladies. Still doesn't feel real :(
:hug: Kylz, I'm sorry you're here. I don't think it ever feels real. But you become used to it and find a new kind of normal.
Sending lots of love and strength xxx.
Regards,
Dianne
Happy mothers day beautiful ladies I know we are all in the same boat today some very fresh some a little older but still as fresh. Hope you all have a good day with your families and know our Mamas are proud watching down on us xxxx
I hope you have much peace on this mother's day Kylz and everyone having their first mother's day without their own mum. And love & hugs to the everyone else :hug:
I don't really think of my own mum on mother's day anymore... I always think the day is all about ME :lol: Becoming a mother myself has been quite healing for me in many ways as before there was just a void. I wish my mum was here to be a grandmother though and answer all the million questions that will always be unknowns now she is gone.
Love to all those who don't have their Mums around today.:hug:
Now that my mum has passed away (3 years ago) I feel her with me constantly and talk to her regularly in my thoughts. I know she is guiding me in the parenting of my two girls and keeping our family protected. Happy mothers day mum and to all the mothers out there I hope you have a lovely peaceful day.
Thinking of you all today on Mothers Day ((hugs))
I was at a shopping centre this morning and was watching all the people and mothers and daughter walking around and I said to my DH so you think everyone has a Mother to go home to today? What percentage of people don't have a Mum like me? And he said a lot do but there are people who live in different states and countries from their mothers and they won't see them today. There are people who are estranged from their mothers. So not everyone loves Mother's Day.
That made me feel a bit better. Today isn't they way I would like it to be but it can be hard for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Doesn't make me miss my Mum any less but it is a different perspective.
Take care today everyone.
Happy Mother days ladies, hope today wasn't too sad for you all.
We froze our butts off but we went to the pier & put some roses in the ocean for my Mum...
Just wanted to poke my head in and wish you all well today. I can only imagine how tough days like today are for you all :(
I hope you are all surrounded by people that you love and that you are able to share with them precious memories about your mums.
Take care x
Thinking of all you lovely ladies in here :hug: Happy Mother's Day
Thinking of all those who can't be with their mums today :hug: Hope you're all having a lovely day.
I'm feeling more at peace with not having mum here this year. Perhaps not seeing my grandma has something to do with that. Today has been about me.
Just had the urge to listen to my "crying song" and I thought I'd share it with you all. For years this song was guaranteed to make me sob and I often used it as an emotional release if I really needed to have a good cry and get some pent up emotions out.
Do you have a crying song, or something that helps you work through your grief? This song doesn't make me cry anymore, which I think is clearly a milestone in itself. Now it makes me feel calm and connected to the memory of my mum and the sorrow that losing her is.
It's about lovers obviously so not all the words really fit but I kind of think of "making love to you" as just "being in love with you". I had a LOT of issues with my mum at the time of her death and all we would do was fight... this song helped remind me that none of that mattered and I still always loved her and I hope she knew that and felt the same for me. All the talk of peace and having nothing to desire helped me try and feel that calmness because I battled with a lot of regrets.
Love to you all :hug:
Sleep silent angel, go to sleep.
k.d. lang | The Air that I Breathe
Thank you for sharing meow. I'm positive your mum knows you love her :hug:
Sent from my LG-P500 using Tapatalk 2
:hug: Meow. I'm sure your Mum knows how much you love her as well.
Yes i have a song it's by Roy Orbison & K.D Lang. Crying.
It was the song we played after she passed, I held her hand she was starting to get cold but i couldn't leave her.
It brings back a lot of memories but it helps me feel close to her.
My girls know that song as Nanna Barb's song.
Oh meow I'm sure she knows too
I have a few songs:
Mama - Spice Girls
Shine On -Jet
Always There - Kate Alexa (this is a gorgeous song)
And my bestie has this gorgeous song out:
Too Soon by Gravel Road.
If you watch the clip Ahuruni's angel Hayley is in it near the end.
I hate mondays. this time 12 weeks ago my mum was gone. Just like that :( with 1 phone call my life changed forever. I still can't believe it's been that long. And yet it still doesn't feel real. Next Monday is 3 months to the date.
I have my first counciling session on Wed night. I'm scared crapless
big :hug::hug::hug:to everyone
BD: take one day at a time......and try not to be scared about the counselling, it can be a really good release :hug:
AFM: i have a few "crying" songs....
"When I Die" by No Mercy
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamamawiwo’ole
"I'll See You Again" by Westlife (the lyrics from this song always resonate with me)
Thanks Neg